I Smell Winter

Somewhat mercifully, South Manchester has avoided the snow that seems to be covering vast areas of the UK. I'm thankful for this because I hate snow.

The cold weather, for the main part, I can handle. Sure, it's a pain in the arse scrapping the ice off the car windows every morning but for the rest of the time, it's easy enough to stick a jumper on and keep warm. I've also been aided in this by a friend re-introducing me to the joys of the hot water bottle, which have the double positive effect of keeping me warm and giving a nostalgic feeling of remembering when I used to stay at my auntie's house as a kid, where I always had one in bed due to there being no central heating.

Snow, however, is just a nightmare. Though growing on the coast meant it was a rarity, when it did happen it meant days at school spend dodging snowballs loaded with stones that could easily send you sprawling. Nowadays, it just means having to leave the car and take the bus to work, a journey which takes twice the time due to everyone else being in the same boat, unless they own some kind of 4x4 off-road beast.

Then there's the constant danger of slipping on your arse, which if you handle ice like Bambi, is a constant threat. Frustratingly, when we had the heavy snow last year, I managed to keep my footing until the very last day before it all melted. OK, I'd had a few drinks at the time, but it was still annoying.

The only vaguely positive aspect of this kind of weather is the amusement I get from seeing the whole country ground to a standstill. Every single time. I've been to Estonia in wintertime, where they have constant snow, ice and freezing temperatures for months on end, and everything seems to run just fine.

"Ah," you may say. "But they're used to it, so have all the arrangements in place to deal with it." True enough, but given we've had heavy snow a fair few times in my lifetime, you'd think the people who matter will have learnt. Instead, we're surprised everytime and there's never enough gritting salt, the trains grind to a halt and the airports close. Perhaps it's some kind of unwritten rule - never prepare, so most of us can skive off work for a few days.