Dead Men Don't Swim

I often wonder if I'm getting a bit detached in my old age. Reading news that a crematorium in the Midlands town of Redditch is being proposed to provide heat for the local swimming pool, my first reaction was "what a good idea!".

A local funeral director put his thoughts to the media, describing it as "eerie", though what the fuck it has to do with him, I don't know - it's not like it's going to effect his business. Also, it's only using the heat generated for some good when it would otherwise just vanish into the air: by some reactions you'd think it was if poor Mrs Jones was approached and asked by the local council "it was a bit frosty last night - can we use your husband's ashes to grit the path outside?"

Of course, I'd being silly, and people will get offended by such things. Still, by the figures banded around, the money the council would save is pretty much what a low-level office worker gets paid a year, which is a bonus in these days. Plus you have the environmental advantages. Bonus!

It's easy for me to say that, of course, seeing as I couldn't give a toss what happens to my bones once I pop my cork. After they rip any useful parts out of my body, they can use the cremation to provide heat for the local baker to make some nice pies, for all I care.

So kudos to Redditch Council for this scheme, and here's hoping it goes ahead. It's only when we get to Soylent Green levels of ways of disposing of the dead that we need worry. OR IS THAT NEXT FOR REDDITCH? Charlton Heston, where are you now when we need you?