In the little sphere of existence known as 'my head', today is the last day of summer. The first of September sees the start of Autumn, just as June 1st was the start of summer.
And I'm almost glad to see it gone, as it's never been my favourite season. Perhaps it's just the constant theme of anti-climax running through my life, but it never seems to match up to any promise it may offer around Springtime. The World Cup is usually dull, the weather remains generally as crap as it usually is and even when it's not, I've got no decent clothes to wear and my cool black overcoats have to be retired to the cupboard. There is real amusement to be had when the latest British contender fails on their arse at Wimbledon, but it's not what you'd call satisfying.
A lot of this, I think, is part of the whole growing up deal. After all, when you're a kid you look forward to the six weeks out of school. Brilliant. I'm sure we all remember the tremendous excitement of the last day of term. For me, this extended into my student days when I was frankly far too lazy to get any summer work and would happily laze around watching reruns of Quincy, Ironside and Columbo, content to be skint.
(Incidentally, back at the start of the school summer hols, I noticed a sign by a local posho school advertising stuff they did to stop kids getting bored. Bored? Fuck me! Back when I was 12, we only had enough TV channels you could count on one hand and a copy of Championship Manager '93, and that was enough to keep us occupied for two months easy. Maybe kids all do have that Attention Deficit thing nowadays. Either that, or they're all complete twats.)
It changes later, and you see the procession of people spending most the year looking forward to the big two week summer holiday. The feeling I have is that there's got to be something more than this, surely? That said, I spent a bit of time today working out how many days are left to Christmas, when I can take another week off work. Humph.
So yes, another summer passes by like a ghost ship in the night, leaving me to balance the negatives and the positives. I feel in years to come, this'll go down as a time I'll remember for various reasons but for now I'll just say "eh".
A final reason for liking this time of year is that my slacker teacher brother has to drag his lazy arse back to work now. (Only joshing, kidda)
Tuesday, 31 August 2010
Saturday, 28 August 2010
Hard Sell
I've been raised from my cold-induced mental slumber today by watching Mission: Impossible. It was one of my favourite episodes, with a young Martin Sheen playing the part of a hapless cliched Eastern Bloc military officer manipulated into essentially murdering his own boss. Great stuff.
But it was not the sterling efforts of Peter Graves, Martin Landau et al that got my bile flowing. No, it was the poxy fucking adverts.
A friend of mine never watches TV. Ever, she tells me. I admire that and think I should take a similar stance due to two adverts in particular. The first is those efforts with the plank kitted up as an opera singer with the stupid facial hair. I did hear a rumour that the actor in question is very well paid, which is just as well as I'd like to think when he shows his face in public, he is chased down the street by an angry mob intent of performing surgery with the aid of a selection of power tools.
The second is absolutely anything associated with a certain company who'll buy your wheels off you. At the moment, they have a series where some poor sap isn't at a certain social function because he can't flog his car, so his (apparent) friends ring him up to extol the virtues of a website who will take it off his hands.
Taking aside that I'm informed that this company offer little more than peanuts, the advert is based on a huge lie. Because let's face it, if your friends did that to you, there would be no other option but to go round to the party with a huge tank of anthrax and exterminate the fuckers for the good of your own sanity and the greater benefit of the human race.
Now, after that refreshing rant, I will have a beer and enjoy the music of the coolest man who ever lived, Mr John Lee Hooker.
But it was not the sterling efforts of Peter Graves, Martin Landau et al that got my bile flowing. No, it was the poxy fucking adverts.
A friend of mine never watches TV. Ever, she tells me. I admire that and think I should take a similar stance due to two adverts in particular. The first is those efforts with the plank kitted up as an opera singer with the stupid facial hair. I did hear a rumour that the actor in question is very well paid, which is just as well as I'd like to think when he shows his face in public, he is chased down the street by an angry mob intent of performing surgery with the aid of a selection of power tools.
The second is absolutely anything associated with a certain company who'll buy your wheels off you. At the moment, they have a series where some poor sap isn't at a certain social function because he can't flog his car, so his (apparent) friends ring him up to extol the virtues of a website who will take it off his hands.
Taking aside that I'm informed that this company offer little more than peanuts, the advert is based on a huge lie. Because let's face it, if your friends did that to you, there would be no other option but to go round to the party with a huge tank of anthrax and exterminate the fuckers for the good of your own sanity and the greater benefit of the human race.
Now, after that refreshing rant, I will have a beer and enjoy the music of the coolest man who ever lived, Mr John Lee Hooker.
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
Sick Boy
I had intended to write a few entries this week, but I've been struck down by a swine of a cold bug, which has left me resembling a member of the living dead. Apologies, and I'll try to get back in the writing mood by the end of the week.
Sunday, 22 August 2010
280281 (Part Three)
Into the business end of the chart now, which is perhaps shown by the fact I only had to listen to three songs to remind myself how they went. Not that most of them are any good, mind...
20 - Antmusic - Adam and the Ants
Yes, them again. But this is the Ants Mk. II, taking on pure pop direction after poor old Stu had been shafted by Malcolm McClaren.
It's two-drummer approach works well on the big hits, such as this. The lyrics are all absolute nonsense, of course, but the man himself had decided at this point that artistic creditability didn't pay the bills and instead got working on being the biggest pop star in the country, which he was for a year or so.
19 - Something Bout You Baby I Like - Status Quo
Seems almost inevitable that the Quo, like Cliff, would be gracing this chart at some point. And of course, it sounds pretty much like every other one of the six billion hits.
It's easy to hate the Quo, but I've always had a vague feeling of admiration for their sheer stubbornness in mining the same seem of music for the last 35 years or so. A story you might not know is that Rick Parafitt's dad drunk in the same pub as the very young Paul Weller's dad, and he once called round to give the brooding teenage mod a few words of encouragement. I've noticed that subsequently, Weller has had kind words for the Quo.
18 - Sgt Rock (Is Going To Help Me) - XTC
It's said by some that Andy Partridge was a little jealous that it was Colin Moulding's songs that were proving to be the hits in the early days of XTC. And then he goes and finally gets his first decent sized success, with a song he wasn't really that keen on.
It also, apparently, got him into some trouble for it's alleged misogynistic lyrics ("make the girl mine/keep her stood in line"), though the context of the song is of a wimp of a guy recruiting Sgt Rock - "the expert at kissing and stuff" - to help him be more popular with girls.
It's not the best XTC song by a long distance, but it's a fun enough number from a belter of an album (Black Sea) and Partridge would get the big hit he deserved with Senses Working Overtime, before his stage fright ensured his amazing band never again got the mainstream acceptance they deserved.
17 - Kings of the Wild Frontier - Adam and the Ants
I've run out of things to say about these lot now, on their fourth (and thankfully last) entry in this particular chart.
Saying that, I just remembered an episode of The Equalizer in which Adam here played a rather nasty piece of work who kidnapped girls from the street to use as sex slaves. Our man Eddie Woodward soon puts a stop to that, though, and equalises in true fashion by shooting the villainous Ant with a dagger-gun-type-thing affair.
As for this song, it's not as good as Antmusic, Dog Eat Dog or Stand and Deliver, though the twangy guitar is pretty enjoyable.
16 - Fade to Grey - Visage
Apparently, three members of Magazine (Barry Adamson, Dave Formula and John McGeogh) were in Visage. None of them play on this, as far as I know, which is bad for the song (as it might have been better with them on it) but good for them (as it might have always been awful).
Despite my opinions, it was a huge hit and is held up as some kind of synth classic by a lot of people. My own stance is that the weird synth song with detached vocals was done so much better by Japan on their own biggest hit, the superbly spooky Ghosts.
15 - Message of Love - The Pretenders
The original Pretenders line-up was a very fine rock band indeed, as seen on this excellent tune. The appeal of the band was always Chrissie Hynde's voice, of course, which is one of the finest to be heard anywhere at anytime, but Hereford's finest do more than their fair share here.
Tragedy was just around the corner for the band at this point, and they've never hit the heights they did with James Honeyman-Scott in the line-up. This is probably my favourite single of theirs, primarily because when Hynde sings "talk to me darling", it's one of the sexiest sounds imaginable.
14 - Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits
I really can't stand Dire Straits. Mark Knopfler's guitar style has always been far too "show off" for me and you get the impression he usually has a smug look of self-satisfaction on his face whenever he finishes a lyric, despite the fact they're rarely all that and at times just offensive.
This, I'm almost loath to say, is actually a really good song. The guitar theatrics are kept to a minimum and the narrative is pretty solid. Proof if ever needed that even a totally hateful band can change your stance for even a brief moment.
13 - We'll Bring the House Down - Slade
Wolverhampton's finest emerge from their wilderness years to score their first big hit in half a decade.
Like Status Quo, it's difficult for me to dislike Slade. A big part of this are the Reeves and Mortimor sketches from the 90s and that Noddy Holder just seems so damn likeable. The song comes across as less cartoony as their big early 70s hit and it's rocks well enough to make you see why it did pretty well: you can imagine young men not impressed by New Pop or the grey overcoat bands would relish this as "proper music" but what strikes me most is that I can understand none of the lyrics except the title.
12 - In The Air Tonight - Phil Collins
Like Dire Straits, part of the 80s establishment whose track record always leaves me somewhat cold. Cold might actually be putting it mildly - I can't stand anything about him and it was delicious seeing him make a complete bell-end of himself on Brass Eye, wearing a "Nonce Sense" cap.
For some reason, songs like this appear to have given him some creditability back. You hear terms like "great production", "superb drumming" and all that. Well, fuck that shit - it's complete dogwank and I'd happily never hear another Phil Collins song for the rest of my life.
11 - Rock This Town - The Stray Cats
Generally, the 50s music I love is the blues stuff. I've never been much into Elvis, Jerry Lee and all that scene, so the Stray Cats and other 50s revivalists have never really been my bag, Eddie Cochrane being the exception to the rule.
For whatever reason in the early 80s, there was a burst of this kind of thing. The Stray Cats had a few big hits and Shakin' Stevens sold singles by the warehouse load throughout the decade. Rock This Town does indeed rock pretty well and I'd imagine it would be fun to swing your gal around to at the local Hop, or whatever. It sounds so much like what it's copying, though, that it's tough to remember anything original about it. Oh well.
20 - Antmusic - Adam and the Ants
Yes, them again. But this is the Ants Mk. II, taking on pure pop direction after poor old Stu had been shafted by Malcolm McClaren.
It's two-drummer approach works well on the big hits, such as this. The lyrics are all absolute nonsense, of course, but the man himself had decided at this point that artistic creditability didn't pay the bills and instead got working on being the biggest pop star in the country, which he was for a year or so.
19 - Something Bout You Baby I Like - Status Quo
Seems almost inevitable that the Quo, like Cliff, would be gracing this chart at some point. And of course, it sounds pretty much like every other one of the six billion hits.
It's easy to hate the Quo, but I've always had a vague feeling of admiration for their sheer stubbornness in mining the same seem of music for the last 35 years or so. A story you might not know is that Rick Parafitt's dad drunk in the same pub as the very young Paul Weller's dad, and he once called round to give the brooding teenage mod a few words of encouragement. I've noticed that subsequently, Weller has had kind words for the Quo.
18 - Sgt Rock (Is Going To Help Me) - XTC
It's said by some that Andy Partridge was a little jealous that it was Colin Moulding's songs that were proving to be the hits in the early days of XTC. And then he goes and finally gets his first decent sized success, with a song he wasn't really that keen on.
It also, apparently, got him into some trouble for it's alleged misogynistic lyrics ("make the girl mine/keep her stood in line"), though the context of the song is of a wimp of a guy recruiting Sgt Rock - "the expert at kissing and stuff" - to help him be more popular with girls.
It's not the best XTC song by a long distance, but it's a fun enough number from a belter of an album (Black Sea) and Partridge would get the big hit he deserved with Senses Working Overtime, before his stage fright ensured his amazing band never again got the mainstream acceptance they deserved.
17 - Kings of the Wild Frontier - Adam and the Ants
I've run out of things to say about these lot now, on their fourth (and thankfully last) entry in this particular chart.
Saying that, I just remembered an episode of The Equalizer in which Adam here played a rather nasty piece of work who kidnapped girls from the street to use as sex slaves. Our man Eddie Woodward soon puts a stop to that, though, and equalises in true fashion by shooting the villainous Ant with a dagger-gun-type-thing affair.
As for this song, it's not as good as Antmusic, Dog Eat Dog or Stand and Deliver, though the twangy guitar is pretty enjoyable.
16 - Fade to Grey - Visage
Apparently, three members of Magazine (Barry Adamson, Dave Formula and John McGeogh) were in Visage. None of them play on this, as far as I know, which is bad for the song (as it might have been better with them on it) but good for them (as it might have always been awful).
Despite my opinions, it was a huge hit and is held up as some kind of synth classic by a lot of people. My own stance is that the weird synth song with detached vocals was done so much better by Japan on their own biggest hit, the superbly spooky Ghosts.
15 - Message of Love - The Pretenders
The original Pretenders line-up was a very fine rock band indeed, as seen on this excellent tune. The appeal of the band was always Chrissie Hynde's voice, of course, which is one of the finest to be heard anywhere at anytime, but Hereford's finest do more than their fair share here.
Tragedy was just around the corner for the band at this point, and they've never hit the heights they did with James Honeyman-Scott in the line-up. This is probably my favourite single of theirs, primarily because when Hynde sings "talk to me darling", it's one of the sexiest sounds imaginable.
14 - Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits
I really can't stand Dire Straits. Mark Knopfler's guitar style has always been far too "show off" for me and you get the impression he usually has a smug look of self-satisfaction on his face whenever he finishes a lyric, despite the fact they're rarely all that and at times just offensive.
This, I'm almost loath to say, is actually a really good song. The guitar theatrics are kept to a minimum and the narrative is pretty solid. Proof if ever needed that even a totally hateful band can change your stance for even a brief moment.
13 - We'll Bring the House Down - Slade
Wolverhampton's finest emerge from their wilderness years to score their first big hit in half a decade.
Like Status Quo, it's difficult for me to dislike Slade. A big part of this are the Reeves and Mortimor sketches from the 90s and that Noddy Holder just seems so damn likeable. The song comes across as less cartoony as their big early 70s hit and it's rocks well enough to make you see why it did pretty well: you can imagine young men not impressed by New Pop or the grey overcoat bands would relish this as "proper music" but what strikes me most is that I can understand none of the lyrics except the title.
12 - In The Air Tonight - Phil Collins
Like Dire Straits, part of the 80s establishment whose track record always leaves me somewhat cold. Cold might actually be putting it mildly - I can't stand anything about him and it was delicious seeing him make a complete bell-end of himself on Brass Eye, wearing a "Nonce Sense" cap.
For some reason, songs like this appear to have given him some creditability back. You hear terms like "great production", "superb drumming" and all that. Well, fuck that shit - it's complete dogwank and I'd happily never hear another Phil Collins song for the rest of my life.
11 - Rock This Town - The Stray Cats
Generally, the 50s music I love is the blues stuff. I've never been much into Elvis, Jerry Lee and all that scene, so the Stray Cats and other 50s revivalists have never really been my bag, Eddie Cochrane being the exception to the rule.
For whatever reason in the early 80s, there was a burst of this kind of thing. The Stray Cats had a few big hits and Shakin' Stevens sold singles by the warehouse load throughout the decade. Rock This Town does indeed rock pretty well and I'd imagine it would be fun to swing your gal around to at the local Hop, or whatever. It sounds so much like what it's copying, though, that it's tough to remember anything original about it. Oh well.
Friday, 20 August 2010
Masked Man
I've been on a bit of a Batman tip the last few weeks, possibly inspired by catching Batman Begins on ITV4. I enjoyed the film (and the sequel) at the cinema, which is a rare excursion for me, despite Christian Bale's silly voice. Since then, I've been spending a lot of my free time on Dark Knight-related occupations.
Bruce Wayne's other mental half was always one of the more appealing characters in the DC songbook, certainly much more than the tedious Superman. Only Green Arrow and the Question have proven more interesting and enjoyable to me. Naturally, my first exposure was the dumb-as-rocks 60s tv show, which my kid brother and I would watch as kids on Saturday morns. I never did work out why the camera angle was slanted whenever we saw inside the villain-of-the-week's hideaway.
But what really grabbed my attention was the fantastic animated series of the early/mid 90s, of which I've picked up a couple of DVDs on the cheap. Brilliantly drawn in a film-noir style and with top notch acting, it capitalised on the success of the Tim Burton films to create a new audience for the character in impressionable kids like me.
It was this show that made me pick up the Playstation 3 game Batman: Arkham Asylum a couple of weeks ago, as the voice of Batman (Kevin Conroy) and the Joker (Mark Hamill) lent their talents to it. I consider both as the 'definitive' actors for both characters, and don't give me any of that Heath Ledger crap.
With the game itself being set entirely in the asylum Batman's enemies get sent to, it led to me wondering aloud with a friend of mine whether any comic/cartoon dealt with the subject of mental illness more. It's one of the few that basically states that a large number of it's characters (including the hero) are more than a little hatstand.
But the game: it won a large number of awards, including some 'Game of the Year' titles. All seem a little over the top to this player. The storyline is engaging, the acting great, but the actual combat system is little more than button mashing and the boss fights verge on the tedious. The side quest of solving the Riddler's puzzles proves to be the trickiest part of the game - requiring knowledge of some of the more obscure characters from the comics.
Both game and recent film franchise have coined in the big dollars, leading to further sequels and product, something the people behind the last Superman film are probably Poison Ivy green with envy over - I'm sure even Batman would have to smile over that one.
Bruce Wayne's other mental half was always one of the more appealing characters in the DC songbook, certainly much more than the tedious Superman. Only Green Arrow and the Question have proven more interesting and enjoyable to me. Naturally, my first exposure was the dumb-as-rocks 60s tv show, which my kid brother and I would watch as kids on Saturday morns. I never did work out why the camera angle was slanted whenever we saw inside the villain-of-the-week's hideaway.
But what really grabbed my attention was the fantastic animated series of the early/mid 90s, of which I've picked up a couple of DVDs on the cheap. Brilliantly drawn in a film-noir style and with top notch acting, it capitalised on the success of the Tim Burton films to create a new audience for the character in impressionable kids like me.
It was this show that made me pick up the Playstation 3 game Batman: Arkham Asylum a couple of weeks ago, as the voice of Batman (Kevin Conroy) and the Joker (Mark Hamill) lent their talents to it. I consider both as the 'definitive' actors for both characters, and don't give me any of that Heath Ledger crap.
With the game itself being set entirely in the asylum Batman's enemies get sent to, it led to me wondering aloud with a friend of mine whether any comic/cartoon dealt with the subject of mental illness more. It's one of the few that basically states that a large number of it's characters (including the hero) are more than a little hatstand.
But the game: it won a large number of awards, including some 'Game of the Year' titles. All seem a little over the top to this player. The storyline is engaging, the acting great, but the actual combat system is little more than button mashing and the boss fights verge on the tedious. The side quest of solving the Riddler's puzzles proves to be the trickiest part of the game - requiring knowledge of some of the more obscure characters from the comics.
Both game and recent film franchise have coined in the big dollars, leading to further sequels and product, something the people behind the last Superman film are probably Poison Ivy green with envy over - I'm sure even Batman would have to smile over that one.
Tuesday, 17 August 2010
280281 (Part Two)
Continuing on from numbers 30-21, in which we find a number of songs I actually really like...
#30 - The Freeze – Spandau Ballet
Second single from leading lights of the New Romantic movement. For a band typically associated with synths and other electronic tricks, this is fairly guitar heavy, leaning towards the funk/soul influences they’d perfect on the Chant #1 hit later on, with a slight Bowie tint.
As a single, it’s nothing special and probably hit the top 20 on the back of media hype. More interesting is the video, which is worth it for cheap giggles at Tony Hadley’s stubble/shades/moody look and Gary Kemp trying to look all serious in a string vest.
#29 – Reward – The Teardrop Explodes
This is much more like it. I remember I heard this for the first time on some New Wave compilation album I picked up aged 14 or so. It’s possibly one of the most instant songs I’ve ever heard, the horn riff and Cope’s proclamation of ‘Bless my cotton socks, I’m in the news!’ ensuring a love for the band that remains to this day.
Though they had better songs, this was their biggest hit by a mile and deservedly so: it’s the classic pop song in all respects. Part of it becoming such a big hit may have been a first appearance on ‘Top of the Pops’ where Cope admitted he and one or two other band members were off their heads on LSD. Just a shame the band couldn’t keep it together to earn the status afforded to rivals Echo and the Bunnymen.
#28 – A Little In Love – Cliff Richard
I find it hard to think of Cliff without wondering if it would be funny if he really was a cliff, and the fascists kept trying to push him over. Also, I still remember the laughs of derision from my dad whenever a mention of him being "the British Elvis" was heard.
Cliff was on a roll at the time, scoring top 20 hits for fun in the US, though this would be his last. Like most of his songs, it’s bland to the point of being transparent – when he coos "I need you so", he sounds about as convincing as the Pope advertising durex. It’s all wrapped in a MOR package that shows off it’s commercial appeal: you can imagine middle aged couples from Arkansas to Aylesbury smiling contently at each other as it plays on the radio.
#27 – Rapture – Blondie
Not my favourite Blondie song by a long shot. Viewing it alongside the other significant rock/rap crossover song of the time, the Clash’s The Magnificent Seven (released a couple of months later), it seems fairly lumbering.
Debbie Harry’s nonsense lyrics may have had a kookiness, but next to Strummer railing against capitalist systems and consumerism, there’s no comparison. Where it does win over is the commercial stakes: this sold by the bucket load and doubtlessly introduced a lot of people to an emerging musical genre. So, kudos for that if nothing else, and it’s worth adding Debbie looks fab on the cover, as always.
#26 – Four from Toyah EP – Toyah
First hit for the Brummie screamer, who I remember having a weird crush on about 12 years ago. It’s a Mystery is the one that got the airplay.
What does struck me is that she sounds like a more mainstream Siouxese Sioux, but the actual band are more workmanlike than the innovative Banshees. I would wager that it’s hit status owes a lot to Toyah’s image values than any songwriting skills. It plods along in second gear, while you wait for something to kick on. Which it never does, obviously.
#25 – I’m In Love With a German Film Star – Passions
Great title, great song. Another one-hit wonder, but this deserves better status than that label would suggest. The guitars sound fucking light years ahead of the time, Barbara Gogan sings about a guy she "once saw in a movie" in detached tones.
Really, in a just would this would have made #1. Not even making the top 20? Fuck off, the British public. Go listen to this song now, if you haven’t heard it before.
#24 – Once In a Lifetime – Talking Heads
While their homeland weren’t too keen on Remain In Light, it proved to be a breakthrough here, cracking the top 20. It was also my introduction to the band: I remember seeing the video on VH-1 as a 15-year-old or so and being taken by David Byrne’s dancing and the high anxiety in his voice as he wailed "how did I get here?"
It works on its simplicity, like a lot of their songs, and it’s all about Byrne. Questioning the American dream (nice house, nice car) and going on about water on the moon – Byrne manages to keep it together long enough to see the song out. Top notch song from a top notch album.
#23 – Imagine – John Lennon
John Winston had only been expired for a couple of months or so at this point and the sentimentality for his death hadn’t gone away just yet (as we shall see more later). I don’t feel I need to write anything about Imagine – for good or bad, it’s all been said before.
#22 – Somebody (Help Me Out) – Beggar & Co.
It seems funk was enjoying a peak in the charts at this time. This is the British variety from a band perhaps better known for providing the horn section on several hits for other acts, notably the aforementioned Chant #1 for Spandau Ballet.
The main touchstones here, influence wise, seem to be Earth, Wind and Fire. Unlike the numbers elsewhere in the chart, the bass here rocks pretty well. The vocals do little but chant slogans in a sub-James Brown way, and the horns avoid that wretched 80s sound that would plague many a record. Not the best of it’s type, but compared to what we’ve seen so far, a vast improvement.
#21 – That’s Entertainment – The Jam
It’s hard for me to remain impartial, given how much I love the run of Jam singles from Down The Tube Station at Midnight to their concluding Beat Surrender. They’re a huge part of the soundtrack to my life aged 15-20 and this song (along with A Town Called Malice) is one I return to the most, perhaps because it less sums up the mood of being the age Weller was at the time.
This was also helped by a period in my mid 20s when I was living in "a freezing cold flat with damp on the wall", though I would wager the man himself (being in a hit making band of four years by this point) never had to sleep on a sofa bed in his jacket just to keep warm. Cue violins.
For all that, he does sound like he means it and by keeping the Buckler and Foxton’s contributions to a minimum produces a superior Jam acoustic moment to English Rose. That it was the only single by the Jam from David Watts onwards (13 singles, by my count) not to crack the top 20, due it being an import, shows just how huge they were at the time.
In 2010, Weller is the only one of the class of ’77 who still holds even vague credibility with a large group of people. Strummer is gone, Lydon has long since become a kind of figure of fun and Costello ceased writing good songs sometime in the late 80s. Despite his gruff obnoxiousness and mediocre solo albums of the last decade (or more, depending on your point of view), this shows him on the form when he actually did matter to a lot of people.
#30 - The Freeze – Spandau Ballet
Second single from leading lights of the New Romantic movement. For a band typically associated with synths and other electronic tricks, this is fairly guitar heavy, leaning towards the funk/soul influences they’d perfect on the Chant #1 hit later on, with a slight Bowie tint.
As a single, it’s nothing special and probably hit the top 20 on the back of media hype. More interesting is the video, which is worth it for cheap giggles at Tony Hadley’s stubble/shades/moody look and Gary Kemp trying to look all serious in a string vest.
#29 – Reward – The Teardrop Explodes
This is much more like it. I remember I heard this for the first time on some New Wave compilation album I picked up aged 14 or so. It’s possibly one of the most instant songs I’ve ever heard, the horn riff and Cope’s proclamation of ‘Bless my cotton socks, I’m in the news!’ ensuring a love for the band that remains to this day.
Though they had better songs, this was their biggest hit by a mile and deservedly so: it’s the classic pop song in all respects. Part of it becoming such a big hit may have been a first appearance on ‘Top of the Pops’ where Cope admitted he and one or two other band members were off their heads on LSD. Just a shame the band couldn’t keep it together to earn the status afforded to rivals Echo and the Bunnymen.
#28 – A Little In Love – Cliff Richard
I find it hard to think of Cliff without wondering if it would be funny if he really was a cliff, and the fascists kept trying to push him over. Also, I still remember the laughs of derision from my dad whenever a mention of him being "the British Elvis" was heard.
Cliff was on a roll at the time, scoring top 20 hits for fun in the US, though this would be his last. Like most of his songs, it’s bland to the point of being transparent – when he coos "I need you so", he sounds about as convincing as the Pope advertising durex. It’s all wrapped in a MOR package that shows off it’s commercial appeal: you can imagine middle aged couples from Arkansas to Aylesbury smiling contently at each other as it plays on the radio.
#27 – Rapture – Blondie
Not my favourite Blondie song by a long shot. Viewing it alongside the other significant rock/rap crossover song of the time, the Clash’s The Magnificent Seven (released a couple of months later), it seems fairly lumbering.
Debbie Harry’s nonsense lyrics may have had a kookiness, but next to Strummer railing against capitalist systems and consumerism, there’s no comparison. Where it does win over is the commercial stakes: this sold by the bucket load and doubtlessly introduced a lot of people to an emerging musical genre. So, kudos for that if nothing else, and it’s worth adding Debbie looks fab on the cover, as always.
#26 – Four from Toyah EP – Toyah
First hit for the Brummie screamer, who I remember having a weird crush on about 12 years ago. It’s a Mystery is the one that got the airplay.
What does struck me is that she sounds like a more mainstream Siouxese Sioux, but the actual band are more workmanlike than the innovative Banshees. I would wager that it’s hit status owes a lot to Toyah’s image values than any songwriting skills. It plods along in second gear, while you wait for something to kick on. Which it never does, obviously.
#25 – I’m In Love With a German Film Star – Passions
Great title, great song. Another one-hit wonder, but this deserves better status than that label would suggest. The guitars sound fucking light years ahead of the time, Barbara Gogan sings about a guy she "once saw in a movie" in detached tones.
Really, in a just would this would have made #1. Not even making the top 20? Fuck off, the British public. Go listen to this song now, if you haven’t heard it before.
#24 – Once In a Lifetime – Talking Heads
While their homeland weren’t too keen on Remain In Light, it proved to be a breakthrough here, cracking the top 20. It was also my introduction to the band: I remember seeing the video on VH-1 as a 15-year-old or so and being taken by David Byrne’s dancing and the high anxiety in his voice as he wailed "how did I get here?"
It works on its simplicity, like a lot of their songs, and it’s all about Byrne. Questioning the American dream (nice house, nice car) and going on about water on the moon – Byrne manages to keep it together long enough to see the song out. Top notch song from a top notch album.
#23 – Imagine – John Lennon
John Winston had only been expired for a couple of months or so at this point and the sentimentality for his death hadn’t gone away just yet (as we shall see more later). I don’t feel I need to write anything about Imagine – for good or bad, it’s all been said before.
#22 – Somebody (Help Me Out) – Beggar & Co.
It seems funk was enjoying a peak in the charts at this time. This is the British variety from a band perhaps better known for providing the horn section on several hits for other acts, notably the aforementioned Chant #1 for Spandau Ballet.
The main touchstones here, influence wise, seem to be Earth, Wind and Fire. Unlike the numbers elsewhere in the chart, the bass here rocks pretty well. The vocals do little but chant slogans in a sub-James Brown way, and the horns avoid that wretched 80s sound that would plague many a record. Not the best of it’s type, but compared to what we’ve seen so far, a vast improvement.
#21 – That’s Entertainment – The Jam
It’s hard for me to remain impartial, given how much I love the run of Jam singles from Down The Tube Station at Midnight to their concluding Beat Surrender. They’re a huge part of the soundtrack to my life aged 15-20 and this song (along with A Town Called Malice) is one I return to the most, perhaps because it less sums up the mood of being the age Weller was at the time.
This was also helped by a period in my mid 20s when I was living in "a freezing cold flat with damp on the wall", though I would wager the man himself (being in a hit making band of four years by this point) never had to sleep on a sofa bed in his jacket just to keep warm. Cue violins.
For all that, he does sound like he means it and by keeping the Buckler and Foxton’s contributions to a minimum produces a superior Jam acoustic moment to English Rose. That it was the only single by the Jam from David Watts onwards (13 singles, by my count) not to crack the top 20, due it being an import, shows just how huge they were at the time.
In 2010, Weller is the only one of the class of ’77 who still holds even vague credibility with a large group of people. Strummer is gone, Lydon has long since become a kind of figure of fun and Costello ceased writing good songs sometime in the late 80s. Despite his gruff obnoxiousness and mediocre solo albums of the last decade (or more, depending on your point of view), this shows him on the form when he actually did matter to a lot of people.
Sunday, 15 August 2010
7 and 7 Is
With the start of the football season now here, giving me at least something to get through long weeks at work, I thought back to the reasons I got myself far too deeply involved in this stupid game in the first place.
The main one would be Bryan Robson. I can't remember the first time I would have seen him on TV, but he obviously captured my imagination as I quickly decided his team was the one for me. My bedroom wall was covered in posters of the Manchester United and England #7, the shirt number I always wanted to wear and wore New Balance football boots because he did. Somewhat conveniently, their factory shop was a few miles from where I was brought up.
Being a United fan in the late 80s, you pinned a lot of your hopes on the man. Listening to the radio on a Saturday afternoon, awaiting the line-ups, you wished more than anything that the guy would say his name instead of Colin Gibson, Mike Duxbury or Clayton Blackmore because if he didn't, you knew it was going to be a tough ask for a win.
On the rare occasions we got to see a match on TV, England or United, he always seemed so 'huge'. Like a giant over the other players - running the game, sorting out their tricky forward with a crunching tackle and popping up to score a vital goal. It was something of a surprise years later when I realised he was the same height as my mother.
By the time my teenage years arrived, a new hero was needed and I, and every other United fan, got one in the next guy to own the red number seven shirt. Eric Cantona was tall, good looking and intelligent. I'd go as far to say he was my first crush, of sorts.
When he signed for United, at the end of 1992, I was just beginning the wretched years of secondary education. At the same time, my team were beginning to assert themselves as the best in the land after decades in the shadows. This was a very good thing, as it gave me something to get me through the shite days at school, knowing there was the match at the weekend and more specifically, to see if Eric would come up with something magical.
On that night when he launched himself Bruce Lee-style into the crowd to kick the guy who had crossed the line of 'friendly banter', I felt like he was striking a blow for all of us who had been bullied or picked on. Fanciful thinking, perhaps, but it meant a lot at the time. Then he returned, and led the young Beckham, Giggs, Scholes and Nevilles to further glory.
In the summer of 1997, I completed my GCSEs and was free of compulsory education. I was going to go back to do my A Levels, of course, but I felt free of a lot of shit when that last exam was finished. At the same time, Eric quit United and football and it almost felt as if there was some kind of hand of fate at work. In my more fanciful moments, I liked to think he signed for United because there was some skinny, lost 11-year-old who needed a little support and when he was a little more certain and assured, then he knew his work was done.
All of which is why Eric Cantona is possibly the only person in the world who I would go weak at the knees when in their presence. I can even forgive him for those wretched adverts he does.
The main one would be Bryan Robson. I can't remember the first time I would have seen him on TV, but he obviously captured my imagination as I quickly decided his team was the one for me. My bedroom wall was covered in posters of the Manchester United and England #7, the shirt number I always wanted to wear and wore New Balance football boots because he did. Somewhat conveniently, their factory shop was a few miles from where I was brought up.
Being a United fan in the late 80s, you pinned a lot of your hopes on the man. Listening to the radio on a Saturday afternoon, awaiting the line-ups, you wished more than anything that the guy would say his name instead of Colin Gibson, Mike Duxbury or Clayton Blackmore because if he didn't, you knew it was going to be a tough ask for a win.
On the rare occasions we got to see a match on TV, England or United, he always seemed so 'huge'. Like a giant over the other players - running the game, sorting out their tricky forward with a crunching tackle and popping up to score a vital goal. It was something of a surprise years later when I realised he was the same height as my mother.
By the time my teenage years arrived, a new hero was needed and I, and every other United fan, got one in the next guy to own the red number seven shirt. Eric Cantona was tall, good looking and intelligent. I'd go as far to say he was my first crush, of sorts.
When he signed for United, at the end of 1992, I was just beginning the wretched years of secondary education. At the same time, my team were beginning to assert themselves as the best in the land after decades in the shadows. This was a very good thing, as it gave me something to get me through the shite days at school, knowing there was the match at the weekend and more specifically, to see if Eric would come up with something magical.
On that night when he launched himself Bruce Lee-style into the crowd to kick the guy who had crossed the line of 'friendly banter', I felt like he was striking a blow for all of us who had been bullied or picked on. Fanciful thinking, perhaps, but it meant a lot at the time. Then he returned, and led the young Beckham, Giggs, Scholes and Nevilles to further glory.
In the summer of 1997, I completed my GCSEs and was free of compulsory education. I was going to go back to do my A Levels, of course, but I felt free of a lot of shit when that last exam was finished. At the same time, Eric quit United and football and it almost felt as if there was some kind of hand of fate at work. In my more fanciful moments, I liked to think he signed for United because there was some skinny, lost 11-year-old who needed a little support and when he was a little more certain and assured, then he knew his work was done.
All of which is why Eric Cantona is possibly the only person in the world who I would go weak at the knees when in their presence. I can even forgive him for those wretched adverts he does.
Thursday, 12 August 2010
280281 (Part One)
Background
The idea for this came from my recent debate article on the 80s, in which I made an attempt to defend that time. As I also have a copy of the NME from the day I was born (Marvin Gaye on the cover: excellent) I wondered how the singles chart from the time stands up.
Have the 40 singles weathered the time inbetween well, or, like me, have they been battered by the harsh eroding winds of time, leaving them looking crocked and knackered? Well, cue ‘Pick of the Pops’ music and let’s find out!
New Releases
Of interest to me is the debut singles from New Order – Ceremony - and Heaven 17, with (We Don’t Need This) Fascist Groove Thang. Both were groups trying to step out of the shadows of previous incarnations, though in extremely different circumstances. The Sheffield group managed it first by incorporating a funk bassline into their purely electro sound. Ceremony sounds what it is – a group making a last statement of their past before moving on.
The Actual Chart
#40 – Star – Kiki Dee
Her ‘other’ hit, in my mind at least, and her only solo one. Though she had top 20 hits before after her chart topping adventure with Elton, none of them seem to have lasted as much as this. It brings back memories of holidays at the Butlins camp in Ayr, a theme which I feel may return in this countdown.
Listening to it now, probably for the first time ever all the way through, it’s the kind of early 80s rock fare that would be taken to it’s conclusion in the US by the likes of Pat Benatar. It’s got a nice feel to it, but is essentially inconsequential, albeit feeling like a bigger hit than it was (#13). The references to ‘video stars’ and the synth bubbles at the end date it nicely, though.
#39 - Jones vs Jones/Summer Madness – Kool and the Gang
I can remember finding out with surprise that Kool was not the singer I saw in the video for Celebrate, but the bassist. The follow up to their biggest hit, a double A-side with Summer Madness being a song from seven years prior which, when I listen to it, is instantly memorable from being in ‘Rocky’.
It’s also the best song of the two. The ‘modern’ number is bland soul/funk by numbers that I’d be staggered if it has gotten any airplay in the last 20 years. It’s a divorce tale possibly inspired by the film ‘Kramer vs Kramer’, but it’s incredibly forgettable and I’m surprised it made the top 20.
#38 – Cartrouble – Adam and the Ants
By this point, Antmania had got well under way and the re-issues of the early stuff was underway. This was taken from the first album, Dirk Wears White Sox, recorded with Ants who would take Malcolm McLaren’s advice and fuck poor Adam off to form Bow Wow Wow.
Outside of the big hits, I’ve not heard much of the Ants, certainly not the more post-punk tinged numbers. This is a pretty good, actually: there are clues of what’s to come, but the ghost of punk is there in the guitars as Mr Goddard yelps about motorways. Worth a listen.
#37 – Mutual Assured Destruction – Gillan
Just the title alone dates it. Cold war paranoia, eh? How we all laughed at the time as we read our ‘Protect and Survive’ leaflets. Gillan, being fronted by Ian Gillan from Deep Purple, offer up their own thoughts on the subject in a style that Spinal Tap parodied beyond redemption. It’s not too much of a leap to imagine elaborate stage sets and explosions when Mr Gillan screams the high notes.
"Where I stand/I know just what they’re planning/I know they’re planning one big bang/They call it mutually assured destruction" – people, we owe our survival to ROCK with a MESSAGE such as this. Be grateful.
#36 – Burn Rubber On Me – The Gap Band
Probably the soundtrack to many a boy racer down Essex way in his new Golf GTi. This was a year after their Oops Upside Your Head success. Research shows their albums sold millions in the US, but I’d guess the name doesn’t say too much to many here.
It’s a nice enough number, despite the production – I’d imagine if it was played with a grittier funk sound, it would sound miles better. Not rubbish, by any means, but definitely one for the dancefloor, not the sofa.
#35 – Gangsters of the Groove – Heatwave
A group known to me for two reasons: first, the obscene amount of bad luck they had, with two members stabbed to death and a singer left paralysed by a car crash. Secondly, that their original creative force – Rod Temperton – went on to write some of the songs that made Michael Jackson the most famous person on the planet. For his role in that, I assume he lives on his own tropical island, sleeping on a bed of money.
Though familiar with their big hit Boogie Nights, I was surprised to see a band so associated with the disco sound have a hit in 1981, albeit this would be their last significant chart action. It’s harmless enough fluff, a final present from Temperton to this old band, and indeed it sounds like something Jackson would have rejected for Off The Wall. My guess would be it was popular in discos in the less fashion-conscious corners of Britain.
#34 РTwilight Caf̩ РSusan Fassbender
The first artist so far where I have no idea whatsoever who they were. A quick check shows she came from Bradford and this was her only hit.
Unlike many one-hit wonders, this is actually really good. It’s very well put together and the chorus is fucking great. I’ve listened to it about three times on the bounce now, and it’s not wearing thin. I am a sucker for a good synth-pop ditty (though there’s guitar and bass in here too), and this qualifies as one of the best. The rest of the chart can throw any old shit at me now, it’s been worthwhile just for this. Excellent.
#33 – Don’t Stop The Music – Yarbrough and Peoples
No, I’ve never heard of them either. From the name, I half expected a kind of second division Ashford and Simpson. In a nice link, they were discovered by a member of the Gap Band and like them, would have just the one big hit here: this one.
Music like this really hasn’t aged well. While songs like Twilight Café used synths to add charm, funk/R&B seemed to lose it’s way a bit, as the new fangled tools take away (for me) the basic purpose i.e. to make you dance. A robotic beat and plodding bassline added to an irritating melody make this very heavy going, and that’s before some ultra-irritating vocal effects.
Someone liked it though, as it seems it’s been sampled by a fair few, including P Diddy and Alicia Keys. All I can think is that Yarbrough People sounds like a local newspaper in rural Yorkshire.
#32 – Young Parisians – Adam and the Ants
Yes, him/them again. Debut single from three years prior making somebody some easy money.
Not really much of a song, the band shuffle along trying to sound vaguely French while Adam mumbles away. The only notable thing here is the thought of the teenybopping hordes buying this up and the shock on their faces when they realised it was nothing like Dog Eat Dog, for example.
#31 – Hot Love – Kelly Marie
Scots Disco Diva best known for her chart-topping Feels Like I’m In Love, which was written by the guy from Mungo Jerry and intended for Elvis Presley, I’ve just found out.
Like many acts who enjoy a massive success out of nowhere, this is essentially an attempt to replicate the formula. The backing track sounds almost exactly the same, and I’m sure there’s some lyrics copied over too. Bizarrely, there’s a instrumental solo that sounds like bagpipes blustering away (young Kelly was from north of Carlisle, after all).
I do wonder who exactly was buying this kind of thing, but then I remember it’s always been the way. I’m sure if I listened to the top 40 of today, not much of it would be any better than this.
The idea for this came from my recent debate article on the 80s, in which I made an attempt to defend that time. As I also have a copy of the NME from the day I was born (Marvin Gaye on the cover: excellent) I wondered how the singles chart from the time stands up.
Have the 40 singles weathered the time inbetween well, or, like me, have they been battered by the harsh eroding winds of time, leaving them looking crocked and knackered? Well, cue ‘Pick of the Pops’ music and let’s find out!
New Releases
Of interest to me is the debut singles from New Order – Ceremony - and Heaven 17, with (We Don’t Need This) Fascist Groove Thang. Both were groups trying to step out of the shadows of previous incarnations, though in extremely different circumstances. The Sheffield group managed it first by incorporating a funk bassline into their purely electro sound. Ceremony sounds what it is – a group making a last statement of their past before moving on.
The Actual Chart
#40 – Star – Kiki Dee
Her ‘other’ hit, in my mind at least, and her only solo one. Though she had top 20 hits before after her chart topping adventure with Elton, none of them seem to have lasted as much as this. It brings back memories of holidays at the Butlins camp in Ayr, a theme which I feel may return in this countdown.
Listening to it now, probably for the first time ever all the way through, it’s the kind of early 80s rock fare that would be taken to it’s conclusion in the US by the likes of Pat Benatar. It’s got a nice feel to it, but is essentially inconsequential, albeit feeling like a bigger hit than it was (#13). The references to ‘video stars’ and the synth bubbles at the end date it nicely, though.
#39 - Jones vs Jones/Summer Madness – Kool and the Gang
I can remember finding out with surprise that Kool was not the singer I saw in the video for Celebrate, but the bassist. The follow up to their biggest hit, a double A-side with Summer Madness being a song from seven years prior which, when I listen to it, is instantly memorable from being in ‘Rocky’.
It’s also the best song of the two. The ‘modern’ number is bland soul/funk by numbers that I’d be staggered if it has gotten any airplay in the last 20 years. It’s a divorce tale possibly inspired by the film ‘Kramer vs Kramer’, but it’s incredibly forgettable and I’m surprised it made the top 20.
#38 – Cartrouble – Adam and the Ants
By this point, Antmania had got well under way and the re-issues of the early stuff was underway. This was taken from the first album, Dirk Wears White Sox, recorded with Ants who would take Malcolm McLaren’s advice and fuck poor Adam off to form Bow Wow Wow.
Outside of the big hits, I’ve not heard much of the Ants, certainly not the more post-punk tinged numbers. This is a pretty good, actually: there are clues of what’s to come, but the ghost of punk is there in the guitars as Mr Goddard yelps about motorways. Worth a listen.
#37 – Mutual Assured Destruction – Gillan
Just the title alone dates it. Cold war paranoia, eh? How we all laughed at the time as we read our ‘Protect and Survive’ leaflets. Gillan, being fronted by Ian Gillan from Deep Purple, offer up their own thoughts on the subject in a style that Spinal Tap parodied beyond redemption. It’s not too much of a leap to imagine elaborate stage sets and explosions when Mr Gillan screams the high notes.
"Where I stand/I know just what they’re planning/I know they’re planning one big bang/They call it mutually assured destruction" – people, we owe our survival to ROCK with a MESSAGE such as this. Be grateful.
#36 – Burn Rubber On Me – The Gap Band
Probably the soundtrack to many a boy racer down Essex way in his new Golf GTi. This was a year after their Oops Upside Your Head success. Research shows their albums sold millions in the US, but I’d guess the name doesn’t say too much to many here.
It’s a nice enough number, despite the production – I’d imagine if it was played with a grittier funk sound, it would sound miles better. Not rubbish, by any means, but definitely one for the dancefloor, not the sofa.
#35 – Gangsters of the Groove – Heatwave
A group known to me for two reasons: first, the obscene amount of bad luck they had, with two members stabbed to death and a singer left paralysed by a car crash. Secondly, that their original creative force – Rod Temperton – went on to write some of the songs that made Michael Jackson the most famous person on the planet. For his role in that, I assume he lives on his own tropical island, sleeping on a bed of money.
Though familiar with their big hit Boogie Nights, I was surprised to see a band so associated with the disco sound have a hit in 1981, albeit this would be their last significant chart action. It’s harmless enough fluff, a final present from Temperton to this old band, and indeed it sounds like something Jackson would have rejected for Off The Wall. My guess would be it was popular in discos in the less fashion-conscious corners of Britain.
#34 РTwilight Caf̩ РSusan Fassbender
The first artist so far where I have no idea whatsoever who they were. A quick check shows she came from Bradford and this was her only hit.
Unlike many one-hit wonders, this is actually really good. It’s very well put together and the chorus is fucking great. I’ve listened to it about three times on the bounce now, and it’s not wearing thin. I am a sucker for a good synth-pop ditty (though there’s guitar and bass in here too), and this qualifies as one of the best. The rest of the chart can throw any old shit at me now, it’s been worthwhile just for this. Excellent.
#33 – Don’t Stop The Music – Yarbrough and Peoples
No, I’ve never heard of them either. From the name, I half expected a kind of second division Ashford and Simpson. In a nice link, they were discovered by a member of the Gap Band and like them, would have just the one big hit here: this one.
Music like this really hasn’t aged well. While songs like Twilight Café used synths to add charm, funk/R&B seemed to lose it’s way a bit, as the new fangled tools take away (for me) the basic purpose i.e. to make you dance. A robotic beat and plodding bassline added to an irritating melody make this very heavy going, and that’s before some ultra-irritating vocal effects.
Someone liked it though, as it seems it’s been sampled by a fair few, including P Diddy and Alicia Keys. All I can think is that Yarbrough People sounds like a local newspaper in rural Yorkshire.
#32 – Young Parisians – Adam and the Ants
Yes, him/them again. Debut single from three years prior making somebody some easy money.
Not really much of a song, the band shuffle along trying to sound vaguely French while Adam mumbles away. The only notable thing here is the thought of the teenybopping hordes buying this up and the shock on their faces when they realised it was nothing like Dog Eat Dog, for example.
#31 – Hot Love – Kelly Marie
Scots Disco Diva best known for her chart-topping Feels Like I’m In Love, which was written by the guy from Mungo Jerry and intended for Elvis Presley, I’ve just found out.
Like many acts who enjoy a massive success out of nowhere, this is essentially an attempt to replicate the formula. The backing track sounds almost exactly the same, and I’m sure there’s some lyrics copied over too. Bizarrely, there’s a instrumental solo that sounds like bagpipes blustering away (young Kelly was from north of Carlisle, after all).
I do wonder who exactly was buying this kind of thing, but then I remember it’s always been the way. I’m sure if I listened to the top 40 of today, not much of it would be any better than this.
Monday, 9 August 2010
Recruitment Policy
For the past six months or so, I've been going round a friend's house and making vague approximations of music in his basement: me on bass, him on drums or guitar. Just something to do, on the most part, playing other people's songs and messing about around this warped 12-bar blues riff with a beat ripped off Sound and Vision by Bowie.
Over the past month or two, however, we've accidentally written a few songs of our own, kind of. Motivation enough to start looking for some other music-type bods and so, I put an ad on a website requesting any like-minded souls to get in touch.
Anyone who has seen 'The Commitments' will remember the scene where Jimmy Rabbite is confronted by hordes of applicants to his ad, most of which are totally unsuitable and/or crap. Somewhat mercifully, the modern world of the internet allows us to check out the other people without the cringing factor of having to meet them in person.
After only a day and a half, I've had all sorts in my email inbox. Obviously, this being Manchester, I've already had a couple of Gallagher-clones who are still flying the flag for 1994. The rest mainly fall into very earnest sounding young men looking to be the next Nick Drake or Chris Martin. Great.
The thing with just about all of them is that they generally come across as people wanting a backing band for their songs, something I've been interested in, being a stubborn democratic type who thinks bands should be about equality. This means being able to say "that new song is shit" without risking tearing everything apart. The first sign of any "this is my band, do as I say" will be met with a resounding "get to fuck" from these lips.
There is a potential bright spot: one reply seemed promising and I'm hoping we'll meet up sometime this week to see if we can all get along as people. After all, if you're going to be in a band with others, it helps if you can have a laugh, right?
Over the past month or two, however, we've accidentally written a few songs of our own, kind of. Motivation enough to start looking for some other music-type bods and so, I put an ad on a website requesting any like-minded souls to get in touch.
Anyone who has seen 'The Commitments' will remember the scene where Jimmy Rabbite is confronted by hordes of applicants to his ad, most of which are totally unsuitable and/or crap. Somewhat mercifully, the modern world of the internet allows us to check out the other people without the cringing factor of having to meet them in person.
After only a day and a half, I've had all sorts in my email inbox. Obviously, this being Manchester, I've already had a couple of Gallagher-clones who are still flying the flag for 1994. The rest mainly fall into very earnest sounding young men looking to be the next Nick Drake or Chris Martin. Great.
The thing with just about all of them is that they generally come across as people wanting a backing band for their songs, something I've been interested in, being a stubborn democratic type who thinks bands should be about equality. This means being able to say "that new song is shit" without risking tearing everything apart. The first sign of any "this is my band, do as I say" will be met with a resounding "get to fuck" from these lips.
There is a potential bright spot: one reply seemed promising and I'm hoping we'll meet up sometime this week to see if we can all get along as people. After all, if you're going to be in a band with others, it helps if you can have a laugh, right?
Sunday, 8 August 2010
Crime and Punishment
Something that having to spend your seven plus hours a day in the workplace does, for me at least, is lower your tolerance for the human race in general. Petty things become issues of grave importance and it becomes half the job keeping your mood in check.
It's not even stuff like other people nicking your milk. That's personal. What is happening to me is that irrelevant matters are starting to gnaw at my brain like some freakish alien parasite. Recently, everytime I've had to bob into the Gent's WC (which happens to be quite often these days due to the increased amounts of coffee I need to stay awake), the sink tap is always running. Sometimes it's just a dribble, which I can pass off as not deliberate, but others it's fully on.
And this is really, really irritating me now. I wish I could say it was a fit of environmentally-friendly pique, but it's not. It's just getting to the point of obsession causing me to have daydreams of taking on a Columbo persona, dusting the taps for fingerprints or setting up a hidden camera outside the door so I can view just who was last in before me.
Quite what I'd do if I actually did know, I can't say. Nothing, probably, except perhaps aim a really contemptuous stare at the guilty party when they weren't looking. That'll learn them.
It's not even stuff like other people nicking your milk. That's personal. What is happening to me is that irrelevant matters are starting to gnaw at my brain like some freakish alien parasite. Recently, everytime I've had to bob into the Gent's WC (which happens to be quite often these days due to the increased amounts of coffee I need to stay awake), the sink tap is always running. Sometimes it's just a dribble, which I can pass off as not deliberate, but others it's fully on.
And this is really, really irritating me now. I wish I could say it was a fit of environmentally-friendly pique, but it's not. It's just getting to the point of obsession causing me to have daydreams of taking on a Columbo persona, dusting the taps for fingerprints or setting up a hidden camera outside the door so I can view just who was last in before me.
Quite what I'd do if I actually did know, I can't say. Nothing, probably, except perhaps aim a really contemptuous stare at the guilty party when they weren't looking. That'll learn them.
Thursday, 5 August 2010
Cowboy Dreams
Talking of home and my nan's house the other day reminded me of a routine from back in my childhood: of being shipped to my grandparents' house as a child with my brother on a Saturday while my mother did the shopping.
After being topped up with numerous Penguin chocolate biscuits, inevitably we'd settle down to watch the cowboy film on BBC2, which always seemed to star John Wayne. Granddad was a fan too and we'd revel in the gunfights and Big Leggy's tough talking.
Tim Butler once compared Martin Hannett to John Wayne, in that they could only both be themselves: all Hannett's records sounded the same, and the Duke acted the exact same character in every film, whether he was shooting at the injuns, the Mexicans or the Viet Cong (as seen in the amusingly terrible and jingoistic 'The Green Berets').
Mind you, the other month my dad told me that Wayne once played Genghis Khan in a film. Seriously! Can you imagine that? I don't actually want to see this for real, as the absurdity of the idea alone is enough to make me chuckle.
Back on topic, Wayne's films were classic in their simplicity. He normally played a rugged, maybe bad-tempered old cove, but one who had a good heart and would save the day - simple and enjoyable stuff for every young child. When you get older, you move on to Clint Eastwood westerns.
Clint's films tended to have a bit more moral ambiguity. In the "Dollars" trilogy, he was out for himself for the most part, willing to shoot down anyone in his path. High Plains Drifter and Pale Rider were excellent portrayals of brutal revenge, Unforgiven showed the dark side of the Wild West. Such films more than likely inspired the game Red Dead Redemption.
Yet, despite the adult me preferring Clint, there's still something about John Wayne doing his walk and punching out some young punk who badmouthed him. And it makes me wonder, do kids still play Cowboys and Indians anymore?
After being topped up with numerous Penguin chocolate biscuits, inevitably we'd settle down to watch the cowboy film on BBC2, which always seemed to star John Wayne. Granddad was a fan too and we'd revel in the gunfights and Big Leggy's tough talking.
Tim Butler once compared Martin Hannett to John Wayne, in that they could only both be themselves: all Hannett's records sounded the same, and the Duke acted the exact same character in every film, whether he was shooting at the injuns, the Mexicans or the Viet Cong (as seen in the amusingly terrible and jingoistic 'The Green Berets').
Mind you, the other month my dad told me that Wayne once played Genghis Khan in a film. Seriously! Can you imagine that? I don't actually want to see this for real, as the absurdity of the idea alone is enough to make me chuckle.
Back on topic, Wayne's films were classic in their simplicity. He normally played a rugged, maybe bad-tempered old cove, but one who had a good heart and would save the day - simple and enjoyable stuff for every young child. When you get older, you move on to Clint Eastwood westerns.
Clint's films tended to have a bit more moral ambiguity. In the "Dollars" trilogy, he was out for himself for the most part, willing to shoot down anyone in his path. High Plains Drifter and Pale Rider were excellent portrayals of brutal revenge, Unforgiven showed the dark side of the Wild West. Such films more than likely inspired the game Red Dead Redemption.
Yet, despite the adult me preferring Clint, there's still something about John Wayne doing his walk and punching out some young punk who badmouthed him. And it makes me wonder, do kids still play Cowboys and Indians anymore?
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Wearing Blue and Brown
Joe Strummer and Mick Jones had it spot on when, in Clampdown, they sang "so you've got someone to boss around, makes you feel big now".
Back to work, this was brought to sharp focus when overhearing one confrontation at my desk this morning. To explain: we've recently had a few new bods starting due to some scheme to get people off the dole. What happens is that they're dumped in offices like ours and put on minimum wage to do whatever they are told.
In this instance, one (understandably) bored and unmotivated young fellow was photocopying some documents when one of the hacks from admin bowled up and started dishing out a bollocking over some incredibly trivial matter. At first this seemed odd to me, but then I clicked on - see, beforehand she was only to be on the receiving end of such treatment, but now there was someone 'below' her in the food chain, and it was time to some payback.
No doubt this is common in offices and workplaces across the world. The worry is, of course, that you'll end up the same sometime. At the age of 29, I've yet to experience having to manage anybody and my chronic lack of career ambition may ensure I'll escape it for a fair while yet. Yet the idea of being a wanker of a boss is a terrifying one.
Office politics is one of the more tedious aspects of modern living. If you're like me, you just turn up to work, do your job and go home, trying to get it over with the absolute minimum amount of fuss and hassle. Some people, for reasons beyond me, decide that this isn't enough and create situations if they don't get their own way. Makes me wish I'd studied psychology so I can perhaps get some insight into why this is so, as it baffles me.
Back to work, this was brought to sharp focus when overhearing one confrontation at my desk this morning. To explain: we've recently had a few new bods starting due to some scheme to get people off the dole. What happens is that they're dumped in offices like ours and put on minimum wage to do whatever they are told.
In this instance, one (understandably) bored and unmotivated young fellow was photocopying some documents when one of the hacks from admin bowled up and started dishing out a bollocking over some incredibly trivial matter. At first this seemed odd to me, but then I clicked on - see, beforehand she was only to be on the receiving end of such treatment, but now there was someone 'below' her in the food chain, and it was time to some payback.
No doubt this is common in offices and workplaces across the world. The worry is, of course, that you'll end up the same sometime. At the age of 29, I've yet to experience having to manage anybody and my chronic lack of career ambition may ensure I'll escape it for a fair while yet. Yet the idea of being a wanker of a boss is a terrifying one.
Office politics is one of the more tedious aspects of modern living. If you're like me, you just turn up to work, do your job and go home, trying to get it over with the absolute minimum amount of fuss and hassle. Some people, for reasons beyond me, decide that this isn't enough and create situations if they don't get their own way. Makes me wish I'd studied psychology so I can perhaps get some insight into why this is so, as it baffles me.
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