Four Wheels to Heaven

Cars. I have to admit I love them. Well, the good ones at least. When I was a youth, I had loads of Matchbox toy cars, which I would use on my lovingly created Motorway layouts. I had books about sports cars next to my Asterix comics. My mother once stated that she was never worried about me getting into a car with a stranger "unless it was a Porsche. Then he’d want to look". Thankfully, the closest we got to a sports car on our estate was a Ford Capri belonging to the boy racer round the corner.

It seemed back in the mid/late 80s, that television decided that for a show to be a hit, you needed wheels. Magnum had his Ferrari, the A-Team their van (and Face’s Corvette) and one show, Street Hawk, tried to put the vehicle (some souped up motorbike) as the star of the show. Which kind of worked, as it took me about 30 minutes to remember the name of the guy riding it (Jessie Mach, for anyone interested). However, none of them fit into my favourites, which are listed thus:

Gene Hunt’s Audi Quattro
Wee bit of cheating here, as Ashes to Ashes clearly wasn’t on the box when I was young. However, the Quattro was one of the top cars of the 80s, and would often win open-mouthed looks of wonder from the young me.

Which is still the case, actually. I used to live round the corner from a guy who owned one, and I’d still feel a slight buzz when I saw it, partially from jealously. I did look into perhaps buying one a couple of years ago, but a decent one will set you back the best part of ten grand. Still, the digital dashboard alone was enough to make me seriously think about it – just the idea of seeing the numbers flash by as you put the foot on the floor brought back a kind of giddiness I’d not felt since I was seven.

The General Lee
Wins the Muscle Car contest with the Starsky and Hutch car as that show wasn’t on TV when I was young. The Dukes of Hazzard, on the other hand, was a staple on my Sunday afternoons. Being a bit too young to appreciate Daisy Duke’s charms, it was all about the car chases, of which you got at least one per episode.

I kind of blame this show for my subsequent infatuation with American muscle cars – hence why Vanishing Point is in my top three films – though I’m not sure I could ever jump into any car via the window without sustaining at least one broken limb. Full marks to Bo and Luke for that trick.

Number Six’s Lotus 7
Yes, yes, I know it only appeared in the opening credits and briefly in another episode, but it was in the Prisoner! Driven by Patrick McGoohan! How much cooler do you want? Helped that the car looked the part – I mean, it wouldn’t have worked quite as well if he’d been speeding down a runway in a Ford Popular.

Batmobile
From the 60s TV series, natch, which was a staple in my house on a Saturday morn. So, alright, the show itself was camp beyond belief, which made little sense as I got older and worked out just what a dark character the Batman actually was – but of every incarnation, Adam West got to drive the best car.

So: a convertible with top styling (love the fins) and capable of blowing out flames when Bruce puts the foot down. Cool enough to still look the part when ferrying around two guys wearing very dubious costumes. Oh, and brilliant theme tune too.

KITT
From the best programme of the 80s, bar none. The A-Team may have had Mr T and more bullets fired per series than the entire Vietnam War, but Knight Rider had KITT and a kick-arse moody theme tune to boot. After all, this was about "a man who does not exist", though whether that meant Michael Knight was having some kind of existential crisis was never made clear.

At the time, I just saw a great car that always had a Gadget of the Week to solve any problem. KITT looked great, sounded great and went around 300mph. Just a shame the computer game that I had for the faithful old Spectrum was complete tosh. With time, I reckoned KITT’s best use would be to allow you to drive to the pub, get totally hammered and then have a safe drive home while you had a kip.

Bonus points for both the car and the driver having evil twins – if only KARR had had a moustache, it would have won the Speedboat.

Honourable Mention
Edward Woodward’s Jaguar from The Equalizer. It may have made the list, if it hadn’t been for the fact my mother didn’t let me watch it at the time for being a bit too violent.