Monday, 30 June 2014

Day 19 - Germany v Algeria

Pre-Match Thoughts
The media in the UK at least are trying to build this up as some huge "grudge" match based on the infamous events of 1982 (look it up, if you want). I'm not so sure. For one thing, most of the lads playing today weren't even born then and you'd hope the Algerians especially are pro enough to remain focused on the job at hand, rather than settling scores from 32 years ago.

They'll need all the focus they can muster in their first ever World Cup knockout game, as the Germans are in their element now. I see them letting Algeria burn their energy away and hit them on the break. The Algerian boys will need to grab any half chance that comes their way - score one and anything can happen. But I've gone with 3-0 to Germany, with maybe the last two coming late on.

First Half
The bulk of the entertainment so far has come from how totally inept the Germans have been. Bad passes, huge lapses of concentration, goalkeeper looking shaky at points. Only the linesman's flag (correctly) prevents them being one nil, that and some bad finishing.

Germany can surely only improve, which will be bad news for the Albanians, who may rue missing chances.

Second Half
They're not ruing them yet, as extra time hits us once again (and I wanted an early night...). Germany have had the better chances, but their finishing has largely been duff. Algeria might have done better hitting on the break, as space was there.

For a nil-nil, this has been an exciting game. Surely there must be goals to come as legs begin to tire?

Extra Time
The deadlock was broken surprisingly early, with Germany taking the lead. Algeria managed to keep fighting though, and it needed the odd desperate tackle to keep the score as it was. Eventually, fatigue played a role and Oezil managed to complete possibly the most convoluted road to goal you'll see all year.

But, just then, when you thought it was safe to go to bed, Algeria broke and smashed a goal in, with only a minute left. Drama of the highest order, but it finished there. Major kudos to Algeria.

Result
2-1 to Germany, who will play France in the next round. Tasty!

Random Song About a Car
Black Metallic by Catherine Wheel.

Day 19 - Nigeria v France

Pre-Match Thoughts
Prior to their previous games, I would guessed this would be a clear-cut affair to the French, who were impressive against the Swiss while Nigeria needed a lot of luck to beat Bosnia H., mainly from the referee. However, France looked disinterested an Ecuador team that should have been easily beaten and Nigeria put up a good fight against Argentina.

The question is whether recent disputes about bonus payments in the Nigerian camp will have disputed their mindsets much. Player-for-player, the French are much the better team and if their collective head is on right, they should progress to the next round. I think they'll start slow but the quality will show in the end: 2-0 to France, is my (ill fated) bet.

First Half
A slightly interesting first half, with the ball in the net only once. It would have been a goal for Nigeria but for the offside call being correctly made. France have had their moments, with Paul Pogba almost capping off a good move but for his shot being right at the goalie.

There's plenty of space for both teams to exploit here but the French especially have been guilty of what us experts call "dicking around". Vast improvements in creating chances needed by both sides here.

Second Half
It was the French who improved, with Nigeria not offering anything major and only their goalkeeper and the crossbar keeping them in the game. Alas, on one of many corners, the goalkeeper flapped wildly, totally missing the ball and allowing Paul Pogba to nod it in.

That seemed to kill the African Champions' spirit as France were then able to take it more easy and it wasn't a surprise when a second goal came, albeit from an own-goal by the unfortunate Yobo.

Result
2-0 to France.

Incessant Earworm of the Day
The theme tune from "Ducktales".

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Day 18 - Costa Rica v Greece

Pre-Match Thoughts
Battle of the surprise packages! I'm sure most people didn't expect any of these mobs to make it to the knock out stage. Costa Rica were superb in their games, surprising both Uruguay and Italy, while Greece sneaked through via a last gasp (and very dramatic) penalty against the Ivory Coast.

Gauging by what I've seen, Costa Rica are the better football side, but Greece have that streak of luck about them that could still work in their favour. Like by holding on till 85 minutes and grabbing a winner. All the same, I'll go with a 2-0 win to the Happiest People on Earth.

First Half
Somewhat unsurprisingly, the Greeks have been playing this one mainly on the safe side, helped by a vapid Costa Rica side. As it was, the best chance fell to Greece, a great cross from the left required a great save when the #14 made good contact.

Bar that, it's all been a triffle dull.

Second Half
Plenty to write about, but no energy to do it... Costa Rica went for it and got their rewards with a fine finish from Brian Ruiz. However, suddenly one of their players lost all blood from their head and got sent off totally needlessly.

Inevitably, Greece equalised in injury time. The big question now is... will I stay awake for all of extra time?

Extra Time
To which, just about. So a short summary - Costa Rica held on to make it to penalty shoot out, in which they won 5-3. Only one missed out of nine, so hard cheese to the poor Greek, as Terry-Thomas might have said.

Result
1-1, CR through on pens, to meet those crazy Dutch guys.

Lullaby of the Night
Song to the Siren by This Mortal Coil

Day 18 - Netherlands v Mexico

Pre-Match Thoughts
I'm looking forward to this one: both teams impressed in the group stages, showing organisation and teamwork. The Dutch especially look highly motivated and able to go all the way and with Robin van Persie back in the team after missing the last game through suspension, they'll be firing at 100%. Robben especially has been on the stars of the tournament so far and the Mexicans will need all their concentration to stand any hope of shackling him.

Looking on TV, the sun looks completely baking and using ethnic stereotypes, if I may, you might expect the Mexicans to be more used to that, unless Amsterdam is actually some kind of tropical sub-zone where you get a sweat on just stepping outside. Can't say, never been there. But I'll work on the basis of my assumptions by now.

All the same, Netherlands will start as favourites, surely, but van Gaal won't have them thinking that. I see a very tight game ahead decided by the odd goal - 2-1 to the Dutch for me.

First Half
Not quite as exciting as I might have hoped so far, with the Mexicans doing a lot of the running with the Dutch trying to make the ball do the work. No clear cut chances yet, though Mexico have come the closest to any. Robben probably should have a penalty just before half time, though Mexico could have had one themselves for high feet from the Dutch defence.

It wouldn't be a total surprise if this game went to extra time, though in the heat, surely neither team will fancy it.

Second Half
Some fantastic drama. Mexico took the lead, taking a rare chance in brilliant fashion, and from there it looked as if they were in the quarter finals. The Dutch squandered any half-opportunities and looked like wilting in the heat.

And then... yet another corner and the ball drops to Wesley Sneijder, who has done next to nothing so far. This time, he manages to remember he's a talented player and smashes it home.

And then... with a couple of minutes till the whistle for extra time, the Mexican defender leaves a foot in the wrong place, Robben trips on it. Penalty. You have to give props to Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, possibly the owner of the biggest balls on the planet. In amongst all the fuss, he kept calm and slotted away a perfect penalty. The Dutch seemed outmatched throughout at least 80 minutes of this game, yet they still won. They'll play Costa Rica or Greece next.

Result
2-1 to the Netherlands.

Last Album You Listened To?
Book of Days by the Psychedelic Furs, while trying to motivate my sorry arse to get out of bed this morn. Vastly underrated album, which took them back to their more noisy roots after years chasing synth-pop mainstream success.

Saturday, 28 June 2014

Day 17 - Uruguay v Colombia

Pre-Match Thoughts
More South American antics and a game overshadowed by the exploits of Luis Suarez. The Liverpool forward who likes to chomp on defenders has been handed a four month from any kind of football activity, a verdict that has brought many jokes about what this entails.

But without him, Uruguay are nowhere near the same team. The difference between their performance against Costa Rica and their next two games was a wide Suarez-shaped chasm.

Colombia won all three of their group games, looking impressive at times. They'll fancy their chances in this game, though I'm beginning to think my prediction (made yesterday) of a 3-0 victory to them may be a tad optimistic. Still, got to stick with your choices!

Drink?
On the Pilsner.

First Half
There's time when I question the wisdom of watching so much football. But then you see a goal like the one James Rodriguez scored for Colombia in this half and you know why. Control, turn, volley. Perfection. He's scored in all four games so far and no doubt the big dogs will be sniffing around him this summer, even though he's only been at Monaco a year.

Second Half
As suspected, Uruguay couldn't gather enough forward momentum to get back in the game, and when James Rodriguez concluded a fine team move, it was game over. They've never made the QF stage before, which is a nice story. If they had had Falcao fit, you'd have them as outsiders to maybe win the thing.

Result
2-0 to Colombia, who face Brazil next.

Hours Sleep Required
Around 11, I think.

Day 17 - Brazil v Chile

Pre-Match Thoughts
We're into the knockout stages now, where a single fuck off can see you on the way home. This can make teams more on edge, less likely to take a risk when the consequences can be so high.

Chile impressed in their second game, which sent the Spanish off on their way back to Europe, but van Gaal tactically out-thought them and I imagine Scolari, the Brazil coach and another old timer, will have been thinking of a way to nullify their opponent's energy.

Where Chile can take hope (and they need it, given their dire record against their South American chums) is that this isn't by any means a classic Brazil side. They needed some luck against Croatia and couldn't break down the Mexicans. Strangely, they have a player with the first name "Gary". Alexis Sanchez, who has taken the mantle of attacking fulcrum, will need to make the most of any chances he gets.

I've got the prospect of winning the huge sum of £30 to inspire my predictions, and in this game I've gone for 3-1 to Brazil.

Drink?
Bought some Brahma (from Brazil), despite the fact I don't particularly like it. Huh.

First Half
Quite exciting stuff, though Chile's lack of discipline may cost them dear. Already they have two players booked who would miss a potential Quarter Final tie. They're also struggling to contain Neymar,  though it was from a corner they conceded the first goal - it appearing by one of their own.

But Brazil's back line hasn't looked strong, and they shot themselves in the foot when a simple thrown up was arsed up in berserk fashion, allowing Sanchez the chance to finish well. You'd still fancy the hosts, but they'll have to be careful when Chile get close to their goal.

Second Half
Brazil could well have had this sown up, only for Hulk to have a goal disallowed for a questionable handball. Bar that, Chile have been the better team. But with extra time, it all becomes a question of stamina, especially in the blazing sunshine.

Extra Time
Naturally, neither team wanted to go all "Death or Glory" at this stage of proceedings, with tired legs reigning. However... with a minute or two remaining, Chile's Sanchez (magnificent throughout) teed up his #9 who just needed to finish well. He blasted, it hit the bar, and thus we got penalties.

At which, Brazil won 3-2... unfortunate for the poor Chilean who missed the last one, but what we do know is that this Brazil side are going to have to vastly improve to stand a chance of winning this tournament.

Result
1-1 after extra time, Brazil win 3-2 on penalties.

Say What?
Electricity board billed me too much, as usual. That's another pain in the arse to deal with on Monday morning.

Thursday, 26 June 2014

Day 15 - South Korea v Belgium

Pre-Match Thoughts
The last two games of the group stage now and, once again, I chose the (in theory) least exciting game to watch. Belgium are already through, only needing a point to guarantee to go through as leaders. South Korea need to win by a margin more than the one Russia beat Algeria to progress. Which, frankly, isn't going to happen.

For Russia meanwhile, they simply need to win. A draw sees Algeria through.

It's about time Belgium woke the fuck up and if they can't against a Korean side that has looked dodgy at the back, then they'll probably get beat by the USA in the next round. I'm hoping Adnan Januzaj gets a run out, just for the experience. Perhaps Fellani will score again, increasing the hope we can sell him off to some mugs before the end of summer.

Ah, 3-0 to Belgium, with Mother Russia only making a, umm, 1-1 draw with Algeria. After two correct predictions last time, I've form to keep up! Actually, if Belgium start storming this game and the other seems bit more equal, I may turn over.

First Half
So far, so dull in the Belgium game, with the Koreans desperate to carve open a chance but the Euro boys were looking semi-comfortable until Defour decided to stick his studs into another guys shin and got sent off.

Januzaj has started, but has been unable to get into the game much. They've yet again failed to kick start in terms of their forward play, despite my continued predictions. If they do play the States, I'm backing Uncle Sam.

Meanwhile, Russia are winning 1-0 and are going through as things stand...

Second Half
Despite being a man down, Belgium were equal to anything, helped by a South Korean side that couldn't finish a wank, let alone a chance. Fellani, to give him his dues, did a fine job and played his part in the break that led to the only goal of the game.

Algeria, meanwhile, equalised leading to the score I predicted. Three out of four in a day!

Result
1-0 to Belgium, who play the US. Algeria take on Germany.

Bummer
Just as I get into my Crystal Ball swing, there's no games tomorrow. Bah!

Day 15 - USA v Germany

Pre-Match Thoughts
I've chosen this over Ghana v Portugal as I've not seen the Shermans at work yet. They need a draw to guarantee qualifying behind the Germans. Bearing in mind the US are coached by the legendary Jurgen Klinsmann, who also previously coached Germany, the conspiracy theorist could suggest he and his counterpart could come to an arrangement of sorts.

I'd struggle to believe that. Both teams will want to win and the wet conditions will suit both. The Americans were expected to finish third or fourth in this group and even defeat will get them through, assuming Portugal win by a small enough margin. A Ghana victory and a US defeat may doom our fellows across the pond to the first plane home, though.

I'll say 1-0 to Germany, with a Portugal 2-1 win enough for the US of A.

First Half
The wet pitch is making for a fast packed affair, both teams looking to attack, though it's Tim Howard in the American goal who has been more busy, though not really tested. Portugal are winning 1-0, which keeps the table as it is.

Second Half
Yes, check the horizon for the Four Horsemen, not only did I get one prediction, I got BOTH. Feel free to go have a lie down on that news.

America didn't really come out for the second half until the last seconds, by which time Thomas Muller had shown his class with a superbly placed finish. Chances are, USA will play Belgium in the next round.

Portugal getting knocked out was a surprise, with Ronaldo scoring a "too little, too late" winner today but their 4-0 hammering from the Germans proving the decisive result in the group. This was perhaps his last chance at putting his mark on a World Cup, to put him up there with the likes of Pele, Maradona and (the other) Ronaldo as greats who drove their countries to glory. But cheer up, Cris - part of Manchester always loves you.

Good News
United sign a midfield player. Yay!

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Day 14 - Ecuador v France

Pre-Match Thoughts
Fresh from putting five past the Swiss, the French will be wanting to consolidate top spot in the group, thus avoiding Argentina in the next round. Ecuador, on the other hand, need to equal Switzerland's result to go through in second place. The odds don't look good for them unless Honduras pull a major shock out of the bag - or perhaps kick it out of the bag, gauging by their style seen thus far.

France have looked good so far, and it's tricky to see how Ecuador are going to get much out of it. 2-0 to the French, says I.

First Half
Eh, France are clearly happy to sit back and not push it too much and Ecuador aren't pressuring too heavily either. With the Swiss 2-0 up, as things stand, the South Americans need to win 1-0 to go through.

Second Half
Ecuador were essentially shagged from the moment their captain, Antonio Valencia, got himself sent off for a slightly studs-high challenge. France put a bit of pressure on, but never seemed totally bothered about scoring, with most shots being tame efforts. To give Ecuador some dues, they managed to keep going in pursuit of a goal, but never got close.

Result
0-0. Switzerland won 3-0, which means they finish behind France in qualifying for the next round.

Tragic Truth
For a brief moment, I thought today was Thursday. "24 hours till time off..." Alas, the cruel reality then hit. Ehh...

Day 14 - Bosnia Herzegovina v Iran

Pre Match Thoughts
Namely that BH are one of those countries I can never spell right when I play geography games on Sporcle. They were unlucky to get fitted up by dodgy officiating in their game v Nigeria, defeat in which saw them knocked out. As their striker plays for Man City, I didn't shed many tears. Ah, pettiness, how I love thee.

Iran were also unlucky against Argentina, and with better finishing could have won. The brilliance of Messi saw them go empty handed, though, and it'll be interesting to see how they cope in a game where they need to chase goals.

The result hinges of how arsed BH are, I would guess. I sense heartbreak for the Persian princes: 1-1.

First Half
As before, Iran are missing any kind of cutting edge, now into two and a half games without a goal. BH decided to open the scoring themselves, with Dzeko (who I just slagged off above) showing his accurate shooting skills. 2-2 over in the other game.

Second Half
Iran tried their best, but it wasn't enough, and they live to regret not pushing Nigeria in the opening game. BH grabbed a second and looked in control until Iran sneaked one back... which seemed to rouse BH's anger, as they went right up the other end and score the final goal.

Result
3-1 to BH, while Nigeria go through alongside Argentina, despite losing 3-2.

Current Mood
Je suis fatigue. Merde.

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Day 13 - Japan v Colombia

Pre-Match Thoughts
Group C remains fairly open, with Colombia qualified and Greece, Japan and the Ivory Coast all able to qualify, potentially. 

I'm rooting for Japan, purely on the basis Shinji Kagawa plays for them, even if he has had a terrible time of it in the last 12 months. It seems most likely Ivory Coast will go through, however. I'll say Colombia will win this game 1-0 while Ivory Coast win 3-0. 

First Half
Not the greatest game to watch, though the pitch doesn't seem to be helping. Japan have had the lion's share of possession but lacked a decent striker to finish their hard work. At the other end, one of their defenders committed a horrific mistake to give away a penalty, which Colombia converted.

In possibly the last second before half time, Japan somehow engineered an equaliser. With Greece winning 1-0, this whole group is still up for grabs. 

Second Half
Japan, sadly for them, lost all focus and got gradually destroyed by a very impressive Colombian side.There was a nice moment when the 43 year old goalkeeper Faryd Mondragon (who was a member of the Colmbia World Cup squad from 20 years ago!) was brought on as a sub for the last few minutes. 

In a somewhat dramatic twist, Greece, who had seen their lead equalised, scored a last second winner to take them through too! 

Result
4-1 to Colombia. They top the group, with Greece second. First time the Greeks have made it to the knockout stage, so well done them.

Best Song About Any of the Nations Involved
Discovering Japan by Graham Parker and the Rumour

Day 13 - Costa Rica v England

Pre-Match Thoughts
Why oh why, you may ask, am I watching this when the Uruguay v Italy game has more at stake? Well, call it perverse pleasure, as part of me wonders if England suffer another defeat, it'll cause Roy Hodgson to admit he is out of his depth and resign.

His team selection is uninspiring, with James Milner and Frank Lampard - two players at the core of the best part of ten years of misfiring England teams - presumably given a chance to say their goodbyes to the international scene. Wayne Rooney is dropped and Daniel Sturridge, now apparently Hodgson's Golden Boy, allowed to continue up top despite barely appearing against Uruguay. United defenders Chris Smalling and Phil Jones get a game, as did Luke Shaw, heavily linked with us the last month and thus providing one reason to watch.

Costa Rica only need a draw to go through top of the group, unless Uruguay win by a few goals - the South Americans need to beat Italy to progress themselves, with a draw suiting their opponents, who have the better goal difference.

First Half
Usual England bore so far, with Costa Rica coming close with a free kick smashing the bar. Sturridge remains ineffective as a lone front-runner (watch him score a couple now) while a few of the others don't seem to want to be there. With it 0-0 in the other game, Costa Rica are sitting pretty right now.

Second Half
Ah, I miss all the drama by staying loyal. While Italy commit suicide over on the other channel by getting a man sent off and losing to Uruguay, thus being knocked out in the first round for the second World Cup running, Luis Suarez once again has a mental black out and for the THIRD time in his career, bites another player. Fucking berserk.

Meanwhile, England drain all the hope from the universe with a performance so inept, the entire team should issue the nation with an apology.

Result
Nil fucking nil. With the other result, Costa Rica and Uruguay go through while Italy and England head on home.

My National Pride
I think England has the worst national anthem out of any country at the World Cup.

Monday, 23 June 2014

Day 12 - Croatia v Mexico

Pre-Match Thoughts
Brazil v Cameroon is likely to be an easy win for Brazil to see them through top of this group, but this game should have a bit more needle to it. The situation is simple: Croatia need to win to go through. They were unlucky against Brazil on the opening day, robbed by some dubious decisions, and you feel if Luka Modric can get a handle on the game, they'll be a tough team to beat.

There's been five Manchester United players to score in this World Cup so far: Wayne Rooney, Nani, Juan Mata, Fellani and Robin van Persie. Potentially, Javier Hernandez could make it six. He missed a sitter in the game against Cameroon and if he plays today, will be very keen to make amends. He made his name in the last World Cup but has thus far not impressed. Mexico may well need him on form today if they are to hold on.

I think Mexico's solid backline will be the key, I'll say 2-1 to them.

First Half
Bit of tension in this one, with Croatia trying not to appear too desperate but knowing they need to score. They've not come close yet, indeed, it was Mexico who smashed on against the bar.

As the half progressed, things got a bit niggly, with fouls abound and some squaring off. A red card at some point would not be a surprise.

Second Half
Hey, called the red card right at least! Mexico played this game spot on, and waited until the last third to make their strike, scoring three goals to knock the stuffing out of the Croats, including one from my man Hernandez, his first this year for his country. Croatia pulled one back before one of them just got pissed off and put the studs into a random Mexican player, for which he got his marching orders.

Result
3-1 to Mexico, who with Brazil (beat Cameroon 4-1) go through to the last 16.

Favourite Clash song?
Clampdown


Day 12 - Netherlands v Chile

Pre-Match Thoughts
At which the two last games in each group kick off at the same time - look up West Germany v Austria in 1982 if you want to know why - which means picking a game. In Group B, Spain v Australia just decides who gets the wooden spoon, so I'm watching who gets top place.

Both teams have gone with strong line ups, with Dirk Kuyt coming in for the suspended Robin van Perise in the Dutch line up. A draw would see the Orange lads through top on goal difference, so you'd imagine Chile will take a "fuck it" approach and try to win.

Hard to make one of my now-infamous useless predictions for this one. But, let's go 1-1, for the craic.

Drink?
Best stay on the wagon till the weekend, so no tempting me.

First Half
Chile seem to have gone down the road I suggested, dominating most of the play, though not really testing the goalie. Netherlands have been quiet, though Robben came closest out of anyone to score.

Spain are winning 1-0, for what it's worth.

Second Half
The Dutch took their time in this game, letting the opposition bust a gut and wear themselves out. Then, bang, two subs scored a goal a piece, the second after some top work from Robben out wide, hitting on the break. The Dutch take maximum points from the group stage, putting out a marker for everyone else to match.

Result
Netherlands win 2-0. Spain won 3-0, and I missed my sexy friend Juan Mata scoring. Sigh.

Tell Me Why I Don't Like Mondays?
Because they're fucking shit.

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Day 11 - South Korea v Algeria

Pre-Match Thoughts
Hard to get excited about this one, which makes me hope I'll see a decent game. Algeria will be desperate for a win, and South Korea can't afford to fuck about either.

Not much more to add... I'll go for a 2-2 draw. Why not, eh? I'm wrong every time anyways!

Drink?
Nah.

First Half
An edgy opening was broken when Algeria suddenly sussed the Koreans out. Three goals in quick order were scored by exploiting a somewhat dreadful backline and goalkeeper. The Algerians must have been on the Prozac or something, as they look a decent team here that will fancy their chances against Russia.

Second Half
Good second half with same amount of goals, with S. Korea only managing to claw two back, leaving them needing a minor miracle to go through.

Result
4-2 to Algeria

Sunday Evening
Worst time of the week.

Day 11 - Russia v Belgium

Pre-Match Thoughts
After his goal and all round impressive display coming of the bench against Algeria, Man United's Fellani gets a start in the legendary Maracana, albeit back in midfield rather than up top. Belgium's slow start may well prove to be a blessing and a chance to knock on against a Russian team managed by former England coach Fabio Capello should not be turned down if they have any ambitions of going far.

Russia will equally be keen to win the game after taking only a draw against South Korea. Playing a more functionary style, it may be interesting to see how they cope with some of the more creative types on the other side. I've a feeling Russia will take a draw in the hope a win against Algeria in their last game will see them through - so I'll say 1-1.

Drink?
Despite the fact I'm sat here in just my shorts due to the heat, I'll just have a glass of cold milk for now.

First Half
Belgium have lacked any real cutting edge, with Lukaku especially being disappointing, and it's all made for a poor showing so far. Despite their "safety first" tactics, Russia should have had a penalty and also had the best chance to score .

After all the talk of their "golden generation" of stars, Belgium aren't looking anywhere close to top quality here. Eden Hazard especially has been anonymous

Second Half
Hazard must have read my mind, as just at the point where the game looked to kill itself through tedium, he came to life and set up the winning goal. It was some fine skill, that probably belonged in a better game than this.

Belgium through, then, and Russia will be be hoping South Korea fail to beat Algeria to keep them within touching distance going into the final games of the group.

What Do You Want?
Right now, some beans on toast.

Saturday, 21 June 2014

Day Ten - Ghana v Germany

Pre-Match Thoughts
Germany were one of the few "big" name teams to go out and make a strong impression in their first game, drubbing Portugal 4-0. Ghana managed to lose to the US, doing their part in a thus far miserable African World Cup. They need a result in this game.

You have to expect the usual German showing, and I'll go 3-2. Goal fest!

Drink?
Keep the Becks coming, Danke.

First Half
Boring! Neither team is doing well here, which may be down the heat. Already the World Cup seems to be slowing down with more dull games after a blistering opening, the French game yesterday as a nice exception. Germany need to shift up a gear here, or they'll get caught out.

Second Half
Yay! Much better second half! Four goals! Both teams taking the lead at one point, working their arses off in the heat to the point of collapse and chances for both teams to win. A draw suits Germany better than Ghana, who will need all the results to go their way to go through now. Portugal beating the USA, who are then beaten by the Germans while Ghana beat the USA should do the trick for the African lads. I think?

Result
2-2

Strange Moment
People in the road behind my place having a kid's birthday party and playing Marvin Gaye's Got To Give It Up?

Day Ten - Argentina v Iran

Pre-Match Thoughts
Iran may end up regretting a lack of ambition against a poor Nigeria side that saw them just take the point, as if any result was nailed on, it would be an Argentina side containing Messi giving them a good going over. 

Yes, we've had shocks like Italy losing to Costa Rica, but Argentina won't be in the mood to arse around. Messi scored a cracker against the Bosnians, a step in burying ghosts of World Cups past. He'll be looking to knock on today and score again. 

3-0 to the Argies, easy. Potentially more if they feel in the mood. With Messi on song, there's no doubt Argentina are amongst the favourites. 

Drink?
For sure, it's Saturday, it's hot and sticky. Box of Becks in the freezer.

First Half
Like Italy, there's a suspicion Argentina have rolled up expecting to win, and need a severe boot up the arsehole to motivate them.

As boring as it is to watch, you have to give dues to Iran for their discipline and organisation that has limited Argentina to just a few half-chances. 

Second Half
Well, talk about thin margins. Argentina just (just!) grabbed the points in this one, after 90 minutes of not being there much. Indeed, Iran had the better chances, but as the cliché goes, the best players don't need much to work their magic. 91 minutes in, Messi got just enough space to curl in a shot that won the day.

All the same, his team didn't impress and they're looking a one-man outfit, albeit one man who can apparently do anything and has put them in the last 16. Does anybody actually want to win this World Cup, except Costa Rica? The next game may provide another answer.

Wanker of the Day
The tosser next door who, on Saturday fucking morning, decided to do some drilling work on his house. At nine fucking AM.

Friday, 20 June 2014

Day Nine - Switzerland v France

Pre-Match Thoughts
Both teams won their first games, so a loss here isn't total disaster as both will fancy their chances of winning their last games. 

It's not hard to imagine this game being dragged into stalemate by two teams not quite willing to give it 100% when it's not totally essentially. That said, best to top the group and (probably) avoid Argentina in the next round. 

In what I am sure is becoming a source of much comedy for anyone who has read all these so far, this particular hipster tipster goes for 3-1 to France. 

So, expect 5-0 to Switzerland then.

Drink?
More Red Bull!

First Half
France are clearly not fucking about and want that top spot. Three up at half time, and they made a mess of penalty too. It's all one way traffic, which doesn't make for an exciting game.

Second Half
Plenty of goals in the second half, with France opting to take the piss slightly by strolling into a five goal lead. They went to sleep then, allowing the Swiss to pull two back, with the second being a very good finish. Still, the French are looking unified and a threat. 

Result
France win 5-2.

Last Album Bought?
Steve McQueen by Prefab Sprout. Being meaning to buy it for years!

Day Nine - Costa Rica v Italy

Pre Match Thoughts
To the match that may decide England's fate. A draw here today, or a shock Costa Rica win, and they're out, with an Italy win being the ideal. Certainly the Italians will look to bed their place in their second round in today, though they'll surely not underestimate Costa Rica.

Due to being knackered - that's your lot. 3-1 to Italy?

Drink?
Large can of Red Bull.

First Half
Somewhere, Roy Hodgson takes a big gulp of wine and sighs. Costa Rica had offered some troubles to the Italian defence, though Balotelli made a mess of a great chance given to him by Pirlo.

Seconds after Costa Rica should have a penalty, they scored anyways. A great cross from the left being nodded in by Fulham's Bryan Ruiz.

Second Half
Who saw that? Italy didn't seem remotely bothered for whatever reason, Costa Rica defended like giants and deserved the result.

Result
Costa Rica win 1-0 and go through to the next round. Italy will play Uruguay will play to decide who else goes through. England are knocked out.


Annoyed by anything?
Why can't I find a copy of "Backpass" magazine anywhere in Manchester?

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Day Eight - Uruguay v England

Pre-Match Thoughts
National expectations are pretty high in England. After the Italy defeat, Wayne Rooney copped for most of the flak, unfairly in my view, as Steven Gerrard, Leighton Baines and Joe Hart all contributed more to the defeat. All the same, Rooney finally has to make some kind of impact on the World Cup on his third (potentially last) attempt.

The England team is unchanged, which isn't a surprise, but also shows Roy Hodgson's lack of imagination. He'll be hoping the Uruguay that was beaten by Costa Rica turns up tonight. How much that works out depends on the fitness of Luis Suarez. One of the best in the world at top fitness, there's questions over just how fit he is. If he is, he could easily punish a slow English defence. But if not, it wouldn't be a surprise to see him limp off having had a totally ineffective game.

If England get beat, they're not out unless Costa Rica get any result against Italy tomorrow. Which is just as well, as I'm struggling to see them winning today. I'll go with 1-1, which with my form, means they'll probably win 4-0.

Drink?
Best had, watching this shower. Corona!

First Half
Though England dominated possession and came close through a Rooney free-kick early on, there was always a suspicion that the poor quality of the back four was haunt them eventually. Which came to pass when Suarez breezed into an unmarked position to nod home, concluding a good move that exposed all England's weaknesses. The Liverpool man is looking on top form here, and if there's more goals to be found for Uruguay, he's likely to snap them up.

In midfield, England have been weak and ineffective, doing little with the ball. Hodgson's system is clearly not working with the players he has, but so far he's been too weak to adapt. Whether staring humiliation in the face (the last time England made the finals and were knocked out first round was 1958) will change that will soon be seen.

Second Half
Like against Italy, England have been undone by poor midfield and defence. Steve Gerrard is clearly too old for this shit, and his fuck up cost England the game. His bizarre back header to his club teammate Suarez saw the winner put away, and fate remains in the hands of Italy now.

They had got themselves back in the game, with Wayne Rooney finally getting his goal at the World Cup. Glen Johnson at right back, who had been poor, did well to beat a man and get a ball in for the tap in. From there, Uruguay looked knackered and there to be taken. And then... a long punt up field, which should be meat and drink for any quality defenders, leads to disaster. England deserve to get knocked out, for total lack of imagination on every level.

Token Northern Utterance
'ecky thump!

Day Eight - Ivory Coast v Colombia

Pre-Match Thoughts
With Cameroon joining Spain and Australia on the first planes home, we're getting to the point now where the excitement levels amp up. Neither of these two teams can get knocked out today, but the result of the Japan/Greece match later tonight could see a winner of this game go through to the second round.

Most of the African teams have so far disappointed, with the Ivory Coast's victory against Japan being a sole highlight for the continent thus far. They've got a powerful team, with the core being built around Yaya Toure, coming off the back of a superb season with Manchester City. If he's on song, it's hard to see Colombia being able to stop him. 

Both teams should be keen to take the points, so I'm hoping for a decent game. I'll go another 2-1 win for the West African lads. 

Drink?
Just an orange juice for me. On the rocks, of course. 

First Half
Not much to report on so far, with the only chance being put on a plate for the Colombian #9 who, perhaps embarrassed that he was actually offside, managed to pull off a miss-hit that even I would be embarrassed about. 

There's a chance both teams will play for the draw and go for it properly in their last game. Should the Ivory Coast decide to go for it, they have national hero Didier Drogba on the bench.

Second Half
A game that looked as if it might end in a draw suddenly came to life, with three goals in ten minutes. The first two went to Colombia, the second the result of comically bad defending. Right after that, however, Ivory Coast grabbed one back after Gervinho strolled past three defenders with some ease. They didn't have enough left to grab a second, putting Colombia in a great position - should Japan not beat Greece later on, they're in the next round. 

Today's Moment of Madness.
Despite my total inability to predict results in this World Cup, I've agreed to take part in a competition at work, predicting all the results once we get to the knockout stages. That's a fiver down the tubes.

Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Day Seven - Chile v Spain

Pre-Match Thoughts
Both teams, you would expect, will be going for this. Spain desperately need the points and a win for Chile will put them through to the next round and put the Spaniards out.

The Spanish have had a few days to consider the disaster of their opening day and the constant questioning of their tactics and approach since. A win today will go a long way to answering the critics, especially a convincing performance. They'll be favourites, but should be wary of a side capable of taking on the best on their form days. Alexis Sanchez, coming off the back of a good season at Barcelona, will be their danger man and main source of threats.

I'm banking on desperation leading the Spanish to sort their shit out and scrape a 2-1 win, despite the partisan atmosphere creating by a very strong Chilean presence in the stadium. Some even attempted to force their way in without tickets, and their communal belting out of the national anthem was actually spine-tingling.

Drink?
Just a Pepsi, for me.

First Half
Dearie me, Spain. I don't know if they expected to turn up to this World Cup and have no problems, only for the second half of the game vs the Dutch to destroy all confidence and morale. Though seeming to have most of the possession, they've offered next to nothing when close to goal and Chile have picked them off twice.

The hope for Spain is that Chile's nerve doesn't hold and they are unable to hold possession, offering a way back into the game. Two goals for Spain or that's your lot for the holders.

Second Half
It'd be hard to give enough credit to Chile. I can't think of many (if any) times I've seen a team work as hard over a whole game as them. They should get whatever they eat for breakfast on the NHS - national productivity would go through the roof.

Spain had their chance to get a beachhead on a recovery, only for Busquets to miss an absolute sitter. Bar that, Chile defended superbly, worked like their lives depending on it and are full value for the result and their qualification into the second round.

Result
Chile win 2-0. Spain and Australia are both out.

Know any Spanish?
Yo te quiero, oh mi corazon. Cheers, Joe!

Day Seven - Netherlands v Australia

Pre-Match Thoughts
In which Netherlands seek to continue to set down a marker of their championship credentials by spanking an Australian team who looked every part "bottom of the group" contenders.

Much has been made of how the Dutch took on an almost "English" approach to spanking the Spaniards - tough tackling from the off and making use of the long ball over the back four. This should be an easier ask, and it'll be interesting to see if van Gaal adapts his tactics for a totally different situation.

The lads from the other side of the world will just be happy to keep the score vaguely respectable. I'll go 3-0, with the Dutch taking the foot off the gas after the second.

Drink?
Despite the stifling heat, I'll be a good lad today.

First Half
When Robben (apparently the fastest player in the world) raced through and scored, it seemed everyone's expectations where being fulfilled. So I'm assuming we were all surprised when straight from kick-off, the Aussies lofted a high ball forward which was smashed home on the volley by Tim Cahill, in what will be one of the most spectacular goals of the tournament.

Australia have had further chances, with the Netherlands in a deep state of shock. Shame Cahill had to be a daft bugger and get himself booked, meaning he'll miss the next game against Spain.

Assuming van Gaal earns his dollar and coaxed the Dutch back to their best, they should still win this, but the Australians look a vastly improved side from their game with Chile.

Second Half
Ah, the beautiful game. Proper end-to-end stuff, plenty of goals. Marvellous. The expected Dutch resurgence didn't quite happen, though it was still a shock when the Aussie's won a penalty and the lead. But as in the first half, within a minute, it was all square again, when van Persie took advantage of a defensive line that couldn't hold to make it 2-2.

There was almost a further twist to be had, but the Australian forwards made a bad choice when opportunity came along again. It proved fatal, as the next Dutch attack saw a long range soft swerve viciously, though the keeper still dropped a clanger in letting it into the net. The last 25 minutes saw the Dutch take control of matters to ensure victory.

Favourite Australian Song?
Bye Bye Pride by the Go-Betweens.

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Day Six - Brazil v Mexico

Pre-Match Thoughts
First time we meet two teams again, with the later tonight Russia v South Korea game the last of the first round.

Neither of the two were outstanding in their initial games, but managed to secures wins, which means Mexico have a little cushion in the event of their expected defeat tonight. Mind, Mexico do have a good record against Brazil, though the homers will be looking to pick up the pace after being sluggish against Brazil. If Mexico have any chance, it's exploiting the weak back four of their opponents - how David Luiz commanding a £50 million fee will baffle me for years.

Regardless of that, I'll go with 3-1 to Brazil, for whatever the fuck it is worth, given my track record thus far.

First Half
Nothing too exciting yet, with Mexico hoping to play the spoiler game, putting in tough tackles whenever they can and hoping to both wind Brazil up and catch them on the break. Only one real chance so far, with a Neymar header bringing a smart save from the Mexico keeper.

On occasions, the Mexicans have played some smart stuff, though opting to try long range efforts than getting close. There's some potential for a better game here...but it's dull so far. Not a word you associate with Brazil.

Second Half
No goals, then, but Mexico will feel good value for the point. They weren't totally outclassed by Brazil, who are coming across as the most functional team the country has produced in years, and not a particularly exciting one at that, despite Neymar. Both keepers had to make some decent saves, but at full time Brazil can console themselves that beating Cameroon should see them through top of the group. Mexico will have to change tactics to try and grab a point (or better) against Croatia, who will need a win, assuming they win tomorrow.

Thing I Found Out Today
Tim Curry appears on the Clash album Sandinsta! I never knew! Apparently, he's the priest who appears at the end of The Sound of Sinners. Wow!

Day Six - Belgium v Algeria

Pre-Match Thoughts
Algeria were involved in one of the worst games of football I ever saw when, at the last World Cup, they drew 0-0 with England. In fairness, they weren't to blame and it was a good result for them but, fuck me, it was beyond words to describe the tedium. I imagine they wouldn't turn down the same result today.

Belgium haven't made it this far for 12 years, but their own "Golden Generation" have broken the hoodoo and much is expected, especially from Chelsea's Eden Hazard, one of the best in Europe when he's on his game. Plenty of their squad is based in England, including Manchester United's Adnan Januzaj and Marouane Fellani. The former only recently pledged alligance to the country of his birth (his parents are Kosovan) while the former had such a wretched club season, it seems to have cost him his previously nailed-on place in the team.

Hard to see past Belgium, unless the expectation causes a huge bottle job - I'll go 2-0.

First Half
Frankly, if I was the Belgian coach, I'd be dishing out some slaps in the dressing room. A more inept display by supposed internationals you couldn't wish to see.

Algeria played it well - sitting back and waiting, and when the chance came, they grabbed it. A good cross from the left, lazy defending and a penalty, which was put away.  The Algerian keeper hasn't had much work to do in return and a major turnaround is going to be needed to save the Europeans. Good opporunity to bring Januzaj on, I'd say.

Second Half
Rather than try the "flair" route, Belgium bring on the other United player, Fellani, and a ball up to his afro'd bonce resulting in the equaliser. Having not scored for us, it was a surprise to remember him doing so. Ten minutes later, with the Algerian lads tiring, the second Belgian goal scored and proved to be a winner. Fellani nearly scored a further goal, only to be denied by a good save. Maybe someone will buy him off us now?

Say something rude and relevant to this article:
Belgian biscuit?

Monday, 16 June 2014

Day Five - Iran v Nigeria

Pre-Match Thoughts
I doubt this is a much-anticipated game from an English (or even European) perspective. When they made their first WC finals in 1994, it was thought great things were to come from them, and yet they've never become the world beaters some expected.

Iran have made the finals a few times now, and are coached by Carlos Queiroz, who used to be Assistant Manager at Man United during a very successful time, which is a big plus in their favour. They'll need a few more of them on the pitch, as Nigeria as current African champions.

If I can just be stereotypically male for a second, in my student years, I lived in a flat above another occupied by a couple of nursing students, one of whom was Nigerian and looked so stunning, I did a slapstick-style banging my head after being distracted by her. That said, all the Persian women I've met (briefly, as it was) looked like film stars. So I'll be rooting for Iran.

I sicken myself with how shallow I can be sometimes... still, my head says 2-0 to Nigeria.

Drink?
Yeah, OK. I need one. Bottle of Black Sheep, ta.

First Half
Oh dear. Surely the worst half we've seen so far. Iran have stuck to their game plan of defending deep and hoping to catch on the break. They nearly did too, with the best chance falling to them via a corner, though the save it needed was routine.

Nigeria have been poor, especially when within of sight of the Iranian goal. This game is in danger of being a 0-0 bore.

Second Half
I guess after so many goal-filled games, it had to happen eventually. Iran were happy with the draw, though against a poor Nigerian team, they may subsequently feel they should have showed more ambition.

Bosnia and Herzegovina, only beaten 2-1 by Argentina last night, will fancy their chances here.

Result
0-0, zzzzz.

The Cure for Insomnia? 
I hope so. I'm off to find out.

Day Five - Germany v Portugal

Pre-Match Thoughts
After Lionel Messi made his mark on the World Cup last night (a game I wasn't watching on account of, y'know, being in bed due to having to go to work in the morn), his rival for the title of "Best Player In The World", Cristiano Ronaldo gets his go.

He'll have a tougher task than Messi, having to face the Germans who, as cliché goes, are always there or thereabouts in the World Cup, though they've not won it since 1990, when they were West Germany. There's plenty of quality in their ranks, with their domestic teams being very strong in Europe in recent seasons. Portugal will be looked to Ronaldo to do this "defying logic" tricks, though Man United's Nani on the other wing is capable of magic. Shame he's also equally capable of making you sigh in desperation. He'll be looking to either prove he still belongs at United or sell himself to prospective bidders.

Tough game to predict this, but as we're surely due a draw, I'll go 1-1.

Drink?
As much as my head is banging from a shite day at work, I'll have to turn you down. For now.

First Half
We nearly had our first goalkeeper comedy moment of the summer, when the Portuguese #1 tried to be a smart arse with a clearance, only to pass it direct to a German player, who managed to put it wide with the guilty party scrambling to save his dignity. Shame.

Punishment was soon forthcoming though. A penalty to Germany tends to mean one thing, and Muller put it away with precision. With Portugal failing to get out of first gear, it took a desperate tackle to stop a second goal. Alas, to no avail, as from the subsequent corner, it became 2-0.

Both Ronaldo and Nani have hardly featured in any attacking sense, with promising situations breaking down due to bad decision making. Then they fell victim to some classic German trickery, when Pepe got himself wound up by Muller making the most of slight contact between the two. He stuck his in, and though it was the softest headbutt in the world, the ref had no choice but to show the red.

With the extra man making it even easier, Muller put away a third just before half time. The question now is how arsed Germany are about scoring more - you wouldn't put long odds on seeing the first hat trick of the tournament in this game.

And yes, my prediction is looking incredibly stupid right about now.

Second Half
Somewhat obviously, the Germans turned the second half into a casual kick about, with Portugal trying the odd sortie to no avail, bar a late Ronaldo free kick that was well saved. Muller grabbed his hat-trick after more goalkeeping mishaps. The pressure will be on Portugal to lift themselves back up.

Result
Germany win 4-0

Fashion Tip
I reckon granddad shirts look ace.

Sunday, 15 June 2014

Day Four - France v Honduras

Pre-Match Thoughts
France haven't been in the "world beaters" group for some years now, not since Zidane retired, in fact - the last World Cup saw them totally humiliate themselves in somewhat amusing fashion. In qualifying, they needed to go through the play-offs and only a heroic comeback from 2-0 down against Ukraine saw them through. That they still need to play Patrice Evra at left back suggests a lack of depth of talent.

All the same, they've got plenty of top quality, including midfielder Paul Pogba, who United let go for fuck all. One of the more insane decisions made by the club in recent years. He's since developed into highly rated player to the degree there's been stories of him coming back for a £60 million fee.

Honduras won't be the favourites, but they beat Mexico on their own patch during qualifying and didn't look too shabby against England just before the tournament started. However, they've yet to win a single match in the finals. Wilson Palacios will get around plenty in the middle, but I'm going for 2-0 to France. 

First Half
Seems Palacios got around a bit too much, resulting in being sent off for bookable offences, the second of which involved barging Pogba over the box. Benzema slotted the penalty away no problem, which made for a fair score. It's been a game full of niggling behaviour, and there could have been earlier red cards. But with Honduras down to ten men, it's a question of how many the French can score now.

Second Half
The sending off essentially ruined the game as a contest and once the game was secure, the French sensibly turned the pace down to save energy. Honduras don't seem to have much bar aggression.

Of note was the first goal to fully use the technology to prove whether a ball crosses a line or not. Seemed to work quite fine, despite BBC commentator Jonathan Coleman making a total dick of himself over it. 

People Are Strange
Walking to the shops this morn, there was two pairs of women's shoes and a bra discarded at the bottom of the road. I wonder how they got there?

Day Four - Switzerland v Ecuador

Pre Match Thoughts
Switzerland are one of those teams that seem to constantly qualify for finals these days, despite never having any world class players. It seems, like Belgium, they've benefited from being a multi-cultural country, with a large number of lads descended from immigrants from the Balkan region.

As for Ecuador, the only thing I know about them is that Antonio Valencia is one of their key players. He's not been the same player since he suffered an horrendous leg break in 2010 that seemed to rob him of a lot of his confidence. A positive World Cup from him may well impress his soon-to-be manager at club level.

Ecuador looked lively when they played England in a friendly a couple of weeks ago, but the Swiss are efficient in that Swiss kind of way, so I'll back them to win 2-1.

Drink?
Best behave myself today.

First Half
The Swiss are looking a bit out of sorts, like they'd been sampling the local night life a tad too much last night. Ecuador are doing fine, but a better team would have put away more than just the one by now. Apparently, Switzerland didn't concede a single goal from set pieces in all their qualifying, but they clearly forget how to do so. They'll never a kick up the jacksie to get something from this, but luckily for them their coach, Ottmar Hitzfeld, who has won everything in his time managing in Germany, is the perfect man to do so.

Second Half
Guess the boot up with the bum was delivered, as Switzerland scored within a few minutes of the restart. The game sort of drifted in the main part after that, though the Swiss had a goal wrongly disallowed, with my man Antonio Valencia not doing a whole lot... until the very last minute, when he finally got into space and put it on a plate for a team mate to slot home the winner.

Except, the guy made a total balls up of it, allowing the Swiss to go right up the other end and put away the winner. Exciting stuff!

Result
Switzerland win 2-1

Wow!
Yes, I finally got a prediction right!

Saturday, 14 June 2014

Day Three - England v Italy

Pre-Match Thoughts
Tough one, this. Obviously living in England, I've been privy to all the hype, but three anaemic pre-tournament friendlies haven't brought much confidence to any chance of England doing well. But with Costa Rica picking up the points, the group is wide open.

England do have some good talents in the squad, especially younger players like Sterling, Barkley and Oxade-Chamberlain. However, I have little faith in Sturridge up front and Gerrard and Henderson as holding midfielders just strike me as trouble, especially with a very weak (and slow) defence.

Where they will be spirited is Buffon being injured in the Italian goal. A lot of reports are saying this isn't a strong squad from Italy, so England may fancy themselves for a result. All depends on how their manager sends them out. It's tough to call this one, but I'm going 2-0 to Italy. A hell of a lot may depend on whether Mario Balotelli turns up.

Drink?
Deal on Peroni? Forza Italia!

First Half
Egg on my face for the Sturridge slur, huh? For the first 35 minutes, I suspected the Italians were playing a kind of "rope-a-dope" trick on England, letting themselves get tired out while they waited to strike. With Pirlo as the conductor, it can always happen. The sexy bastard. But it was his sublime dummy that lead to the first goal and seemed to confirm my theory.

Until finally England actually strung a decent move together. Sterling, who nearly scored with a long range effort early on, threaded through Rooney who then made his first real impact on the game by putting in the perfect cross for Sturridge to finish.

Italy still came close afterwards, having a Balotelli effort cleared off the line and also hitting the post. If England want to get a win here, they need to drag off Gerrard, who has offered nothing, and bring on Ross Barkley. Barkley, and Sterling, can both destroy the Italians by running at them. I stand by my point as to whether Roy Hodgson has the balls to go for the win on this one.

Second Half
Let's face it, England were hopeless in that second half. Their experienced players - Gerrard, Rooney and Cahill - failed to step up and England got what they deserved against an Italian team that aren't that impressive, but are marshalled superbly by a Pirlo, a man who knows exactly what he is doing with every touch.

Interesting to see how this group will advance. As previously noted, Costa Rica may well fancy the odds against both these teams.

Result
Italy win 2-1

You're Going to Bed?
If you think I'm staying up till 4am to watch Japan v Ivory Coast, you can fuck right off. I'm in bed now, and staying here.

Day Three - Uruguay v Costa Rica

Pre-Match Thoughts
Credit to Uruguay, for a country of such a small population, they produce plenty of top players. In 2010, they made the semi-finals and Diego Forlan was joint top scorer. Forlan, who starts tonight in the absence of Luis Suarez, played for United over a decade ago, but was never a big success. He went on to become a star name in Spain, winning the European Golden Boot twice but at 35, he's surely only here as back up and to provide an experienced head. All the same, chance for him to roll back the clock t

Costa Rica is the happiest nation on earth, apparently, and they also don't have a military by constitution. That makes them pretty awesome in my book, but they're going to have to have the game of their lives to stand much hope here. I'm going 3-0 to Uruguay, with Cavani bagging a couple. 

Drink?
I've still got a bottle of Jennings left from Thursday? Result!

First Half
Uruguay are clearly the better side and deserve to be ahead, but Costa Rica are no mugs. A drop in concentration can easily see things go wrong for the current team ahead, as nearly happened just before half-time. The extra dash of world class that Suarez brings is clearly a big disadvantage for Uruguay, but at least means if they get the points today, they can be confident of being even better when he returns.

Second Half
Well, fuck me. I'm beginning to like this World Cup. Every game has had goals, and now we have a big shock.

There's nothing to write but to give Costa Rica a huge amount of kudos. They knew exactly how to get back into the game through set pieces and took total advantage. Joel Campbell, who had been an Arsenal player for three years but spent all his time out on loan, will have surely grabbed attention across the world with a superb display, scoring one and setting up another. It'll be interesting to see if his parent club give him a chance next season.

I hope Costa Rica go through to the next round now. I really, really enjoyed that second half of football.

By the way...
Yeah, I know. Don't take up betting on the results of football games. 

Day Three - Colombia v Greece

Pre-Match Thoughts
Going to be short, this. I know zilch about both teams. It's Colombia's first time in the finals since 1998, when even England managed to beat them 2-0, a match immortalised in song by Kirsty MacColl.

Greece are tournament veterans these days, their taking of the Euro Championships ten years ago being the biggest shock in my lifetime watching international football. Their style then and ever since (that I've seen) seems to be around defending in numbers and trying to hit on the break.

That's all I can think of to say. Predictions? Umm... 1-0 to Colombia.

Drink?
Not just now, thanks.

First Half
Of course, the problem when you set out to not concede is that when you do, and in the first few minutes, your whole game plan is shot to fuck. It's taken Greece till 44 minutes to test the opposition keeper and Colombia will feel they should have more than just the one.

Full marks to the Colombian fans, who are certainly giving their team some top support.

Second Half
Greece never really offered too much, though they screwed up a good chance, smacking it against the bar from a few yards out. Colombia took their time and made it two when a duff corner somehow found it's way to the back post, for the striker to slam home.

With Greek low on gas, a third went past them when a Colombian slyly took a quick free kick, the move leading to a smart finish.

Result
Colombia win 3-0. My predictions are turning out to be fucking shite.

Needless Confession
I have a thing for women with red hair.

Friday, 13 June 2014

Day Two - Chile v Australia

Pre-Match Thoughts
I'm a bit ambivalent on this one, perhaps due to match fatigue. Several generations of my family have migrated to Australia, and I once had a close friendship to someone from down under, but it has to be said their current squad looks on mysterious side. Bar the veteran Tim Cahill, I know next to nothing of their side.

Chile, on the other hand, are receiving plaudits for their showboating style, with Alexis Sanchez considered one of the best around at the moment, so you have to fancy them for a solid win. I'll say 3-0.

Drink?
Oh, go on, one more.

First Half
It's turned out more interesting that I suspected, in large part due to Chile taking their foot off the gas. At 2-0 after 15 minutes, they were cruising and began to play like it. To give the Aussies credit, they've fought back and Chile should have known better than to give a World Cup veteran like Tim Cahill any room to do what he does best. 2-1 sets it up for a decent second 45 minutes.

Second Half
The game ended up a drab affair, with Chile seemingly happy to stick for the main part, knowing that Australia didn't quite have enough quality to break them down again. Their closest attempt got in the net, but was ruled for offside. The South Americans could have put the game beyond doubt early on, but for some last-ditch defending.

In the end, with two minutes left, Chile caught Australia on the break to put the result beyond doubt. The Aussies need a miracle to not finish bottom in the group now.

Result
Chile win 3-1.

Boing!
Time for bed.

Day Two - Netherlands v Spain

Pre-Match Thoughts
Bit of a toughie, this one. The Dutch are coached by Louis van Gaal, who will take over at United after the World Cup, and their captain is Robin van Persie, our striker, even if he didn't seem to have his heart in it at points last season. Spain have Juan Mata and David de Gea in their ranks, although both are unlikely to feature in the starting XI. 

I should point out I think Juan Mata is fantastic. He really is. You could be a man with the most homophobic arsehole in the world for a dad, but if you brought Juan home, he'd be "ahh, well, fair enough". I was buzzing when we bought him and I really think he could be a top player for us over the next few years. It's a tough call to pick a favourite, but I may just edge for the Dutch in support of the new Boss. 

As has been repeated many times, these two played out the final of the last World Cup. That wasn't a great game and I'm not expecting this to be either. Neither team will want to risk too much from fear of a loss, especially with a strong Chile team also in the group. I'm leaning towards a 0-0, with the best hope of otherwise coming from a goal in the first 20 minutes.

Drink?
Oh, go on. Make mine a Staropramen.

First Half
Well, scrap the boring game theory...

Later than I mused, but Spain took the lead by buying a soft penalty, though it could have been different if Wesley Sneijder had managed to put away a very good chance earlier on. It's an open game now, however, though if David Silva had not tried to be a clever arse, it would have been 2-0. Instead, the keeper saved, the Dutch go up the other end and van Persie pulls off a spectacular header to even the score minutes before the whistle. 

It's hard to predict where it will go from here. It's a close game, with neither keeper that bothered bar the four major incidents. It may well end up being a matter of who has the legs to last the game out. 

Second Half
Well... can't say I expected THAT. Initially, it all seemed fairly equal before the Dutch must have punched their collective "Nitro" button to totally destroy the World and European champions. I don't think I can remember such a destruction of a force. 

People have talked of the ageing members of the squad, but it was Ramos and Pique at the back (both under 30) that looked shaky. Robben in particular enjoyed running riot and the Dutch have very much put themselves on the map with this result. 

I really enjoyed the game, just for the surprise in the second half. Whatever van Gaal said at half time, it worked and makes me very excited for next season with him at my team. It could easily have been six or seven, which I bet nobody predicated after 40 minutes. Torres' missing a total sitter near the end added a nice laugh. This is what I'm hoping to see more of. 

Result
Netherlands win 5-1 (!)

Tenuous Celebrity Connection of the Day
A guy I worked with, while studying in Hull back in the 1980s, lived next door to the mother of Roland Gift, singer from the Fine Young Cannibals. 

Day Two - Mexico v Cameroon

Pre Match Thoughts
Like a lot of these games, I'll generally try to pick the team I want to win by any connection to Manchester United. One of our strikers, Javier Hernandez, is Mexican - a third generation international, as things are. Which is impressive. However, he's struggled in recent months, with no goals this calender year for his national side, all the while he's been unable hold a place at United. It wouldn't be a major surprise to see him leave this summer, and he doesn't start this game.

Cameroon made their first big impact in 1990, when they made the Quarter Finals, only going out after giving England a big scare. I remember a girl in my school, Lisa McAvoy, predicted great things for them beforehand, being laughed out of class for doing so. Girls, right? She had the last laugh on us, obviously. Apparently she was my first "girlfriend" when we were both six. I say "apparently" because I have no knowledge of this outside my mother's say-so.

Cameroon have been overtaken since then by the likes of Nigeria, Ivory Coast and Ghana. This year, they had a whinge about payments, which leads me to predict a 2-0 win for Mexico.

Drink?
Not just now, thanks.

First Half
I can only assume the linesman had £20 on 0-0 at half time, as my prediction should have been true already but for two awful offside calls. Mexico have looked by far the better side, moving the ball around well with Cameroon's only threats coming from their considerable size advantage, which they have used at set pieces.

Perhaps in the second half, with a different lino calling their attacking play, the Central American boys will grab the goals they need to stand a decent chance of making the second round.

Second Half
Well, I wasn't far wrong! Mexico will feel they should have won by more, but the points are what mattered. Cameroon were poor, only really testing the goalkeeper in the last moments. Even then, Hernandez missed an easy chance after that to make it two, which makes me glad I'm not a betting man.

Not a great game, due to the African lads not being much cop.

Result
Mexico win 1-0.

What You Don't Need To Know
I'm off for a shower before the next game.

Thursday, 12 June 2014

The Tedious World's World Cup, Day One

Hello, strangers! Yes, I'm back and in a (doubtless foolish) attempt to cure my current malaise - brought on by a killer combination of bad health and work shite - I'm going to try to watch as much of the football World Cup as possible.

I figured that the fact I've been unable to write anything for the last month and a half is also down to my lack of SELF-DISCIPLINE. Therefore, I'll try to force myself to write something about every game over the next month, within reason. Those who read this sorry-excuse-for-a-blog on a regular basis who hate football (hello!) may want to not bother coming here for a month. So:

BRAZIL vs CROATIA
Pre-Match Thoughts
Back in 1990, I remember getting the World Cup sticker album, thus I had a faint clue about most of the other teams. 24 years later, I admit my knowledge has slipped and any predictions I make will be based on stereotypes and out-of-date references.

All the same, Brazil are starting out as one of the favourites and as hosts, the pressure is on them to deliver. So, I'm going to hedge my bets by saying it'll either be a nervous opener, with a late winner from a Brazil, or the boys in yellow will thrive in the occasion and cruise to a 4-0. This is in part due to the fact I know a few of the Brazil team and how good they are. Croatia have Jelavic, who didn't look that good playing for Hull City last season, and Luka Modric - who is a quality player, no doubt.

Drink?
A few bottles of Jennings Lakeland Ale, for a taste of home. Cheers, Aldi.

First Half
Opening ceremony? Fuck that. I listened to Section 25's From the Hip album instead while waiting for kick off. But just as well I'm not a betting man, as Croatia started strong and took the lead. Brazil finally got their shit in order and managed to equalise through Neymar, expected to be the big star of the tournament, though he can count himself lucky to be on the pitch after a tasty elbow on Modric. Any other game, I reckon that would been a straight red.

Since the Brazil goal, they've been in control and you have to fancy them to score more in the second half. The hosts look dodgy at the back, but there's enough going forward to see them through.

Second Half
3-1 to Brazil doesn't tell the whole story. Their back four is shaky at best and they owe a large part of their victory to a referee whose arse seemed to go. The softest of soft penalties at 1-1 saw Brazil steady, though the keeper might have done better with that, and should have certainly saved Oscar's shot that made the points safe.

I may have to reappraise my feelings of Brazil as being amongst the favourites - going forward with the likes of Neymar, they'll score goals. But their goalkeeper and entire defence are going to cost them dear.

Randon Irrelevant Fact
My maternal grandma was born and raised in a hamlet a couple of miles out of town called Scilly Banks. It was basically a row of about 10/15 two up-two down houses, a church and a pub. The pub had closed shortly before I was born, but I can only assume it was sustained for all those years by the entire community going on the piss there every other night.